madpianist

writer's itch.

2010-11-09T01:37:00.004+08:00

"I wanna lie down on the grassy field,

just to stare at the sky,

and watch the clouds chasing,

I wanna lie down on the grassy field,

see how flower petals bathed in sunny rays

with the wind blows and grasses tickle my face

I wanna lie down on the grassy field,

listen to the rustling sounds of leaves,

witness how day turns into night

I wanna lie down on the grassy field,

as the crickets and cicadas sing,

i'll be counting stars until i dream."

sometimes it only takes a simple photograph to spark the most beautiful words in mind.

Today has been the weirdest day of all. I woke up late (at 8:22 which there's a 8:30 class to catch up) but thankfully its in the library and people usually coming late. The moment i unwrapped myself from my blanket, pull my leg over and out from the mattress, and........

OMG IM NOT SUPPOSED TO FEEL THIS WAY. Its warm. Not the ever bone-shivering chilly autumn morning. Not the blistering sharp wind scraping every follicle from you. Nothing but the cosy cuddling warmth. Was that the reason why everything seemed so clear last night? that i can see the very reflection of the casinos and their ever shining lights on the mirror of the sea? Was that the reason why the wind doesn't howl or to even whistle whilst ure asleep?

Spent 3-4 days to figure out something to write, drown in doubts and hesitation, eventually it only took hours to come up with something decent. Aren't they like that too? The artists and/or writers. Tormented with fear of failure, for they had second thoughts and thirds and so forth, while it'd only take seconds to bold up and blurt out whatever comes in mind. I guess thats the paradox of life. We greed yet fear. How many of us can really pursue our heart's desire, regardless of how prepared nor backed up? Is this another fate's game? That I'll encounter people whom i consider lucky, for they have everything they need to fulfill their dreams, while i can only stand by them, as ego and conscious indulge in harassing and condemning me. What a loser i am.

Cheaters don't proper. How true can this really be? Apparently they're prospering. I blame that 12flights-of-stairs-in-5-minute-run which made me breathless (literally) and physically unfit for mid-term. Well i did regain my vitality but sometimes, what is lost can never be retrieved at instant. My mind for instance. There was a chance to cheat, but the good o' conscious persuaded me to remain honest. And now the "kiasu" part of me has gone bong, who is currently suppressed to avoid unwanted regrets.

I must say that Linguistics class has been the most pleasant among all. The look of lecturer's helpless face when no one answers correctly, and the expression of his relief, priceless. Never once i've seen such a desperate lecturer. Not to forget his "stevejob-ness" aura, well at least he's not trying too hard to mingle with students (like mr.R) or being unreasonable sometimes (sorry, mr.A)

At first i thought i'd screw up my presentation, judging by the amount of content im about to present....but Mr.Coyne still gave me nice marks. And THAT made my day. At least there's someone who appreciates genuine talent. (hahahahaa...self-flattering already??)

Didnt expect Weixian to post something on my wall, and asked about plausible hangouts. WOW. Lets hope it'll be happening, unlike those empty promises made by classmates from the first day of semester.

WHY..is that when I really need to use my passport, the visa expires. DAMN embassy for only to renew the visa once Dad's back from Taiyuan, when I've already UPS the passport like a week ago. If it really takes 15days, means i can only go to HK/Zhuhai by end of the month??

..........

.......

....

...

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

they better extend my passport and let me enjoy the diplomatic perks....grrr.

[Yes the previous post was supposed to be about Maverick. I guess i'll hav to postpone the entry. shh! u can wait or be my guest.]

Nov3.....another 3am writings/typings

2010-11-03T02:14:00.003+08:00

its been a year since the form6 graduation.

Never in my expectation that i'll end up here....For i thought i'd be spending my days n nights in lab coats...like Hannibal in his med school, just that im not studying meds....

again i guess i went against the odd....

*here's what i typed in SlidePad a while ago*

hi, my name is chingsin. i was born on 6th of may in the year 1990....according to the chinese calendar, its the day where summer starts...even until now.

i always wanted to take the name 'summer' but its been quite a common name and mediocre is never my pursuit in life.

Why? My life or the way I live is never like others'.

I was born with 2 teeth, 2 coloration (fair torso, dark legs). I learned my ABC from the Wheel of fortune game show. While everyone's learning in chinese playschool, I'm reciting islamic prayers even though its not compulsory. I was the only girl who learned piano at first, then somehow sparked others' interest, none of them complete their course though.

Again, unlike others, I moved out and got myself into another school. Once more just like after playschool, highschool is another complete strange/foreign environment. Somehow, i was never the popular pretty chick. More like the nerdy-annoying-attention-freak. There I met the person who changed my life completely. She who made me realized there's no need to pretend anymore, no need to fake interest, no need to be someone i'm not. Just be me. Sadly we were never classmates. So times like recess and afterschools were pretty treasured. Aside of prefect duties, never once I'd spend my time without her.

I knew we're never going to be together after SPM, but we're clueless of what future and fate behold.

College/Pre-U....sadly the same story. Against the odds I enrolled into CHS...against my initial will, as the thought of going to INTI might make it easier to see her, but family financial status made me took the hard way. As time goes, thanks to a lil' luck...I've met a few good friends, one of them became besties, despite only known each other for 1.5 yrs (well its been more than that now)...perhaps the same background and fate shared between, catalysed the friendship.... founded by trust, with a lil apparition of lust.

Entering UMAC was never included in consideration. But its another same old story.....will it be?

Fit-in? nah its never been a problem, in fact im bother-less bout it.

Homesick? surprisingly not at the moment. mayb i'm enjoying myself much...without having to face the family affairs, quarrels and such. peace of mind. perhaps the "house-arrest" did some effective measures...

sneak-peek : Maverick.

REALization

2010-09-12T02:37:00.003+08:00

seems like, after attending universities, especially when its about leaving that sweet cosy home and log into dorms... everyone starts to appreciate...cherish the true treasures of life...family, not to mention the other F word that means everything to every malaysian belly...FOOD. Posts of photo albums with "lovely family" ... "dearest friends" etc.etc.etc.....Just 3+/- months they learned their lessons.... "now i noe how much they (family and/or food) meant to me...."

or status updates with wat they've eaten so far....

somehow...my mom resonates with that...its not that im taking this for granted...but mom seems to miss me more that i miss her...she calls me on skype EVERYNIGHT...even told me that she's lonely without me...cuz for the past 8months in Beijing...I'm her only company...to grocer market..."occasional" garment shopping to Xidan...Zoo...Wangfujing...

who can blame her anyway...Sibs need to study...Han's on her final IB year...Ting's on grade10th...bro...i doubt he can b reliable even when he reaches 40....Dad...sighs...he can never hav the patience to shop...unless they both have the same target, which rarely happens.

surely there ARE a few Aunties around...like Teacher Chen...and Mrs.Lee but both never use the uber-cool-yet-vacuum-packed-beijing-commute ever in their expat life....nevertheless mom's too vulnerable to survive subway stations...though there's signboards with directions....she'll rather rely on her guide....*maybe i shud come up with a new breed of dog...since we hav the guide dog for the blinds....why not hav a guide dog for commuters*

so i guess mom's life would be...

wake up and make breakfast for sibs...

sibs pack lunch to school....

mom return to slumber after dad leaves to work...

mom wakes up after her nap..

mom takes her shower...

mom watches the telly...

mom do laundry...

mom flickers around the remote button...

mom watches ShenBian (pretty interesting talkshow, but there's a mean hostess)...

mom eats her lunch...

mom with the telly again..

mom fell asleep by the lullaby of tv...

mom woke up and continue with another round of laundry...

mom with tv...

*this is where random phone calls frm friends, and occasional skype call to grandma*

mom gets back to fold the dried clothes...

mom puts the clothes in closets...

mom stares out of window wondering what im doing now, thinking how good it'll be if im here to take her out jalan-jalan...

sibs back from school...there comes another laundry...

washing lunchboxes...

mom nags hanhan for her stinkyshoes...

mom gets snacks with bro...and tingting if she's not in shower yet...

mom gets ready to make dinner...its not gonna b a continous effort..but with prelude..interlude..and a presto-ending...(her style of cooking : anything i can find from the fridge and make them edible in the fastest, clutter-free way)

mom walks around to check the laundry...

mom calls dad to confirm his "reservation" for dinner...u noe...."are u coming home for dinner, if not i'll leave no leftovers"

mom nags at bro to get shower...

mom gets back to cookin'....

still cooking...

bro finishes shower...scouts around the kitchen for nibbles and menu...

sis comes to korek nasi...set the table...

DINNERTIME!!!

mom do the dishes...or mayb bro...depends.

mom gets another shower...skincare routine....

if dad's home, primetime tv....

mom gets on the computer...doing all i taught her on how to use skype...and see if im online.

mom signs in...scroll for my username...doubleclicks.

sucky skype video calls...throws questions at daughter...investigate her diet consumption...peeks around her roomates...

end call. return to tv.

sleep.

and it'll all recurs ... except on weekends.

*of course every tues n fri..there'll b a domestic helper around the house from 12-3pm...mom will hav someone to talk to. also the weekly facial appointment...which is her solace to her current to-be-depressed life.*

Sis....U've gotta clear ur weekend schedule and take her shopping, keep her sane.

broken-hearted girls...

2010-07-27T02:50:00.004+08:00

Unless you've encountered separation.... you'd never know how attached you are, how deeply in love you are, how important a person means to you...

after coming back from UMP, spent 3 days at grandma's...poor thing that her arm's cased in cement....

talked to her when i got into the house, (blame my prefect training) cant help but to notice her nails are long, yellowed and trapped with dirt...

"popo, ur nails are long...why didnt u clip it off?"

"nah..i need them to scratch"

"its not good popo, see the dirt, u might get infections too"

"nobody wanna clip the nails for me..."

"how about uncle?"

"uncle...."

she didnt say anything later...perhaps something she doenst want me to know...or uncle is just too busy....

then as i walk away to fetch some water..her eyes shined a lil'

"wah...you've lost weight i see...ur legs arent that chunky anymore..."

being fat can really worry her lot...im glad that she's happy to see me toned down...

few days after im back from beijing, as we're on the way to malacca to see (other) grandma...Cousin called with a shocking news...Popo fell and broke her arm. She went to toilet in the night, accidentally fell due to sudden lost of stability/strength...

who can blame her anyway..

the stroke last year didnt bring her down, but it did left her weak, her left side of body is weakened....making her slightly incapable of doing things on her own...which led to her fall few weeks ago...caused her arm fractured...perhaps she's still in denial, feeling ashamed to seek assistance in everything she used to do by herself....she's a strong woman...her twin sons only survived days...her husband left her widowed in her 40s...yet she's livin' life to her fullest..mom always tell me stories of grandma rockin' around with her fav. passtime - travellin'...if the time's right, money's enough..she'll sign up for trips to anywhere...i bet she can proudly show me her passports with all the immigration stamps...she went to few places of China..Singapore, Thailand...also several states of malaysia such as Sarawak (to help my mum after her labor)...Perak, malacca, etc...

back in the house....

as usual, i didnt talk much to her...perhaps there's nothing i can say...but time to time i try to feed as much attention i could...especially when im leavin for macao...

i shudnt hav brought my laptop along...grandma can only now sit at her couch, watching tv from her place..as she couldnt move to the living room sofa, even its just few steps away...moving her frm couch to wheel chair calls for 2 men's strength....in the end, she could only watch us move around the house, hoping that we'll stop before her and strike up some conversation...most of the time she stays at home, hav her own dinner, then watch us all going out, get in the car and head for dinner at restaurants...ever since the stroke, she's alone at uncle's home, since mom and i went to stay in beijing, if not she could hav followed us there...the only time for her to get out frm the house, is to go to hospital/clinics...deep down inside, she wanted to tag along, only if the pain and her weak limbs werent the obstaclers...

in the afternoon, cousin, mom and i went out to get lunch...bought pisang goreng for popo...i offered to feed her but she rejected...perhaps she wants to feel that remaining dignity, even if she has to struggle to hold the place with her immobilized right hand, while her weak arms barely grasp the banana pieces...then when she talks to mom...saying that she feels alil' uneasy in the ear, wanting someone to help clean her ear, as she's watching me picking my ears...mom witdraws..fear that she might hurt her in the process...but i went on suggesting to use cotton buds instead of those metal pickers...found the buds and started the cleaning... i didnt go too deep into the canals, fearing that i might hurt the eardrum..but her ear canals are quite okay..to my surprise it is the ear lobes...perhaps losing all those collagen, the skins are more folded, forming deeper grooves..hiding the dirt,waxes and dries up there...the grooves are filled with flaky dried waxes,saddens me that no one ever noticed that before...she smiled at me when i asked her " feeling better now popo?" as usual, she'll always return with "thank you ahh" cheerful...

as im busy packing...sorta ignoring popo...i suddenly turn my eyes at her, wanting to say goodbye but then...grandma's crying...without sobs..just holding her tears from falling but leaving trails at the corners...

this is the very first time i saw her cry...never before..not even when im leaving for beijing...maybe because this time im leaving for a rather long time ... four years...without a firm knowing of when im coming back..typical fear residing old folks' mind (i guess)

" will i get to see her coming back? can i"

i cant help but to tear pieces of tissue, lift up her glasses

"popo, why are you crying? (silly me...asking something where the reason is already laid right before me) please dont cry...i'll be back for sure, i'll call you once a while...promise me to stay strong okay.."

i hugged her...carefully not to cause any pain on her right arm...only to hear her say

" you're leaving already, and i dunno when u'll be back...who's gonna talk to me now? again i miss ur uncle james (he's been ignorant to her all these years...)"

later on mom came to comfort her, tell her(again n again) to forget bout him (uncle james), promising that we'd call her time to time...telling her to stop wasting time missing someone who scolds u for calling at 3am...someone who promised to bring his daughters to see her before they leave for overseas, promise to visit after we all informed him bout her stroke but never came...someone whose phone mysteriously unreachable, only to explain that he was in China...while my dad working in china can ironically call her once a while...

as i carefully wiping her tears away...she looked at me, loneliness is all i see, the need for love is all i feel, her eyes helplessly beg me not to leave, if only her arms were strong enough as she used to, she'd hold my hand tightly.. it struck me deep inside, with my conscious rebuke me of my doings...how much time i actually spent with popo, how long its been since i really talk to her, even for just a while, rather than those hello-goodbyes?

there was a time (in beijing), popo told mom to skype call her at night, so she can see us on video.....popo was waiting for me to start video-calls...while im busy with my facebook game apps...only to find herself in dissappointments again with "sorry popo, we were busy." thats a lie...and i shudnt hav done that.

the TV at her house is HUGE (cousin's laptop is connected to it)...she can see us from her place still...internet was WAY better than malaysia..video-cast shudnt b a problem...she just wanted a video call but i was too ignorant to remember..all for catching up in those games....(gosh i hate myself)

Ruisiong's blog lingered in my mind, when i see popo....she spent most of the time with us...taking care of us while mom's away, or busy...we might not talk much but she loved us anyway...patiently deal with our mischieves, teach us chores..watch us age....

and now....

i tried to hold my tears...but as im typing i cant hold any much longer...

random words of my mind...

2010-07-22T16:21:00.003+08:00

Life's been a rush since im back.

went back to malacca upon grandma's summon, again she's paranoid bout flying to tianjin, its not even first time for her as she travelled via air too...and she's not alone for mom's bringing sibs all back to beijing. got a new hairstyle...aunt's doing okay with her salon business...if only i can spend more time to help her..with the interior, even with facebook ads...

then the outings...schedule's FULL...been eating out since.

Uni. it was just what i expected. a very M cultured place, as predicted by lovely Pn.Felica, again im culture shocked. Luckily managed to find some decent people to talk to at least.

A phone call that led to endless text messages. hahahaha.....Seniors are always appear superior, either admired or feared (even despised by)...perhaps the culture i had...haha...here there's no such casualties...kinda new to me...

Could it be another summer love? Things just dun last for me i guess...sighs. At least we could b friends...which is way better than how things were with A.

everything's a mess....and im not ready to face this world. Flashes of memories before our eyes, eerie yet heartwrecking...As we could only watch it fall into pieces, into the ending that we all know.

the change

2010-02-16T01:25:00.006+08:00

1. I PERMED MY HAIR...YES U'RE NOT READING THIS WRONGLY...AND IM NOT TYPING IT WITH ANY MISTAKE...

Feb11th....so mom decided to go for a haircut...since her hair is quite unattended in the sense of beautification....as usual..im dragged along but simultaneously i wanted a haircut too...for my last haircut was...more than 6months ago....

And so we walked to this salon which mom saw when she went out grocer shopping her friend, due to the "friendly" wind blowing at us around few km/h...we stopped in front of another salon, before even reaching the targeted one.

mom : "its too cold now, dun think can walk further more"

me : "ok...try this one(infront of us)...u go ask the price lah..."

and so it was the unexpected neither planned plan B was executed..

the population of male hairstylist are mushrooming the streets, regardless of being watched under the eyes of the stereotypes...

it all started with a compulsory shampoo routine/session/service (dunno how to call it exactly since yours truly is quite a noob in beautification)....then the juries (mom n me lah) took a pretty long time and quite polite argument/debate/discussion (again, i was confused of the way we communicate)....then comes the verdict

i've decided to perm my hair with big curls no matter it'll turn out to be good or ugly...even its my first visit to this hair saloon...

its either do or die, i told myself...not that i dont appreciate that my genes are blessed for having a natural, healthy straight hair....it wont hurt if i wanna shake things up a bit and try to get out from that sort of comfort zone...so its a byebye and goodluck to my crowning glory...

one thing about living in big cities e.g. USJ..KL...or even Beijing...things are quite the same...

the people who contributed to the population density are mostly non-locals/people from other states or provinces...

throughout my conversation with the guy-in-charge of my hair...shockingly he's at my age...only few months younger...which might explains why he was really friendly...lol...and also repeatedly admiring my hair texture and their condition...the following statement are translated into english, for ur reading ease....

"wow we got a pretty good stuff here (looking and brushing some locks of my hair)"

"this one so healthy....couldnt absorb the treatment oil...."

mom didnt want to perm her hair but gave in for being tired of her hairstyle...she did a slightly radical decision to perm n cut her hair to a rather short, neck length flair...

to my curiosity...they use a different equipment/apparatus to perm our hair...mom's the regular type..mine looked more like they insert electrodes into my hair...hahaha...only when it comes to haircut, another guy came it....he was rather serious....and being really quiet...

in the end....it cost us both in total RMB900(perming with pre-perm n post-perm treatments)...but since mom's joining their membership...we received 25% discount...

and so...

smile~

side-face diva? *perasan*

lol...i dont know

lol...me tryin to act cute

HOPE IT'LL LAST FOR SOMETIME..HAHAHA

i wonder if anyone notice this...

2010-02-06T01:40:00.003+08:00

its been 48 days....

48 days since i've left...

48 days of absolute absence

of friends...

of passion( i mean my piano )

of....him....

i'm really sick of being the one to make the first move

tired of being the starter

they say it takes 2

but it seems one way to me....

why am i still cant get over it?

why is doubt ruling my mind...

fear festering in my gut...

ego stained my pride....

im supposed its karma,

for what i've done

now i'm just doing my time

as my heart lost its ability to tell difference

between a flirt game

and a pursuit...

to call it pursuit, sounds too serious

haha

i really dunno whats playing in ur mind

u said that u missed me, missed going to concerts together....

wondering when i'm coming back

to tell you the truth,

no guy has ever

done that to me

for i'm never been considered attractive

for i'm always going to be that crazy, geeky gal

if you're just up for a game,

then tell it

dont make me hope

that i too have a chance to deserve someone

if you're serious about this

please

let me know

dont just apologize

of going to be very busy

and set me off for absolute ignorance

perhaps i'm just overreacting

perhaps i'm just being too bored

all i know is

i'm done with

all these on and offs

This is the worst after-exam-holiday ever in my life...everything i planned, jeopardized. Seems to me that great things come at the wrong time...I have only 10 days to hang out with friends that i've not met for quite a time...most didnt go as i wished...of all...i can only spend some time scarcely with Ray and Diyana...others were bound to assignments, or family trips...

They all wished to meet later...but that "later" was something i cudnt afford.

"Too bad"...the only thing that i got from them...once they found out that i'm leaving...

Too soon? not to my family...mom wanna go back before Xmas...

secretly i wished to leave later...at least i hav a chance to really spend time with my friends, not just quick meetings...something that parents would never understand...

Whats the point of me staying here? I cant get a part-time job here...Music Conservatory is having spring break...All you want is me to be here, to complete that sort of reunion, regardless of how lame and mundane my life would turn out to be....

SO WHAT if im staying, i could have done more MEANINGFUL things than slacking here...pro-fessionally-castinating

even my friends wondered why...

its like...i'm already embracing this sorta pace of life..and now u're taking it away and stash me here....I'm not mom okay...she has friends here but i dont, nor any to make one... All you guys did was bring me here and let me rot...you asked me what i want, but in the end i got nothing...

Has it occured to you that i, your damned daughter actually have something called LIFE? Has it ever crossed in your mind that i have feelings too?? I'm not just that some thing or object that you can simply place anywhere u like...

You never listen, even though u claimed u do...All u wanna hear must please ur will, not those contrasting truth, so whats the use of me telling u how i ACTUALLY feel, when i'm going to be slapped in the end...

kumo?

2009-05-11T23:54:00.002+08:00

When was the last time you lied down, either on a hammock, a cranky-wanky recliner, or just that cool green carpet of grass, looking up to the sky and gazed at them?

It fascinates me, to watch them floating their way while letting the wind changes their shapes, such transformation that provokes man's thoughts and imagination and/or creativity, that inspires them to compose songs that might bring him fame and fortune; or sketches that might end up as masterpiece of art; or even poems that might touch thousands or millions of hearts and souls...

Occasionally, comes a birdie, or a kite, or even that silver plane, emerges from nowhere and diverge our attention,somehow such interruption reflects our current thoughts (and mood); some might even remind us the dreams we bear in our heart, for we're the ones to decide they're possible achievable, or just remained undiscovered, barred from ordeals we face in life....

As ur thoughts wander like the floating clouds in the sky, we'll end up dozing off by the afternoon heat, embraced in slumber to rest our tired minds, or get up from day-dreaming (or the insect bites), move on to continue our work, instead of drowning ourselves in that so-called fantasies that might brought us nothing...time to get back to reality and kick some @$$.....

At least, i think, that little moment of procrastination's quite harmless, infact it might restore our mind and soul back to equilibrium, to the proper state of sanity and sober, for we have tormented our souls with unwanted/forced commitments and obligations...

At least it doesnt feel that tensed, at least we gained back some strength to keep going on, at least the feeling of knowing that we're still alive, and the desire to survive, still burns inside us.....

2009-05-10T02:25:00.004+08:00

went out with roy on friday to low yat.....damn the weather...scorching hot...he surprised me with a kakashi figurine as my bday present...my lovely handsome charming sexy dashing hot brooding kakashi.....Roy wanted to look for a new MP3 player (his old one has only 512MB...)

so we ventured the whole low yat...and boy he didnt do his homework by getting the product info online...so we spent most of the time comparing between Creative, Samsung and Philips...in means of battery life, price, design, warranty....thankfully i was there...if not he'd made a BAD choice ( he wanted to buy a Creative T200 which battery

life only last for 9hrs)...luckily we left with a Philips...*forgot which model*

o-my-gosh i actually witdrawed $$$ to buy that 1TB external hard disk...

and now i just hav to find a way to get to my cousin....

imagine all the anime i can get frm him.... ^^

oh yea...also bought a mouse USB port

been really torn nowadays...as in between procastination and motivation.....cant find a really good time to practice my piano.....

most of the time my family'll just turn on the tv ( how rude...) while i'm practising ( and the tv is just too near to my piano...)

thought of moving my piano up to my room...bu

t i'll need mr.hulk/mr. impossible to do work...*too heavy*

if this goes on...i think my techniques n skills will be flawed to devastation....T~T

dissected a rat on thurs....it turned out to be easier than i thought....

pn.felicia suffocated them with CO2...instead of chloroform/ether....

gosh the rat was so nice to hold in the hand....cute summore....but that didnt affect me in cutting her ( i for a female rat) open...

and i got too preoccupied to slice the connective tissue to skin the rat off....which i'm supposed to remove the respiratory organs...so i end up finishing my practical bit later than others.....

hopefully ZH'll email me the photos he promised....URGH....

urm...bout my birthday...boring as ever cuz mom was lazy to cook again...so we had pizza for dinner....

but at least this year..myclassmates (especially Joey n Sueping) made me a bday card...wow.....really nice of them....

as usual i'll make my oreo cheesecake and pasta....kinda like celebrate it myself....sis are not here anyway....

thankgoodness my classmates luv the cheesecake i brought....

just rearranged the books in my bookbox....oh no its full...gotta buy another one....

went to the MPH warehouse sales with andrew..spent more than rm100 on books.....and we got free goodies....a FHM shotglasses..and a sunglasses frm Style mag....

Dad's coming back on the 19th....my plan to MPO has to be called off....but....i wanted to go....cuz its the only night with tango music performances.....my Astor Piazzolla.....why cant i get the change to hear it LIVE....T~T

fizzy buzzy whizzy whuzzy

2009-04-10T01:43:00.002+08:00

to joey :
thanks for your suggestion....i'll try to get some time to change my layout (yes i noe its boring...)

still figuring a way to balance my sanity, without casting away my creative flow.....which seems to ooze to maximum when i'm tryin to get my sleep....

at the end of the day, i just end up with deafening voices and frequency inside my head, heartful of pain, headful of stress, handful of anger held in my chest, uphill of struggle, blood, sweat and tears, nothing to gain, everything to fear...

not to say that i'm being hyprocrite or snobbish flaunt...i hate my work piece, especially in writing...i'll always tend to scrutinize my work, like how aweful it is written, how lame my points are, or how pathetic my layout/pattern turn out to be...

of course i'll be delighted to receive high credits for my works, i mean, who doesnt like to taste some sweet achievement anyway? but then it'll only last for seconds, as disgust, humility and anger branched through every atom of me....giving me nothing but hatred over myself...that i could have done better...like what happend when i got into top5 in state level with my 5000 words piece...still, i refused to tell ppl what i wrote, just because i felt it was a product of my stupidity, rottening innocence...to the point that i forbid my parents from feelin proud of my "achievement"...and yes...if u ask me the same question today, the answer's the same : JUST SOME F**KINGLY MORONIC STORY WHICH IS NOT EVEN WORTH TO READ...

i'm becoming hostage of my alter ego, there's no exit to escape, FIGHT....is the only way to prevent the evil in me prevails..... XD

56...ohno...gained.....(yes mr.Hatschen you can hop and rejoice that ur wish came true...)
gotta revert back to 53 or less....or else...its a goodbye to my new bought jeans.... T~T

damn, cant resist his husky voice, melts the innermost of me...i swear i'll pass out if i see him serenade this L.I.V.E.....

*this is the studio version*

dare you to say that you dont feel that snuggly warmth inside your heart,

on the verge of breakdown

2009-03-29T00:40:00.003+08:00

Life is just like a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you're getting....

if only life is as yummy as chocolates...hahaha

tried hard to stay focus...to make the best outta something unexpected...

can i endorse my passion and obligation...without breaking apart emotionally....

Could i really make a good comeback after the failure last year...Is the offer still open?

As seniors rejoice with triumph, doubts and fears have spread and gripped tightly to our conscious mind, will the same thing happen to us or we'll just end up in a mess

think i'm gettin along well...(am i?)

the rest of our lives has a long way to go but it is been shaped right now.

you can blame your circumstances and fate, either bad luck or bad choices....

sometimes to move on forward, you have go back to your past....

tired

2009-02-09T00:20:00.001+08:00

dunno what to say

first blog of 2009

2009-01-01T00:29:00.002+08:00

looking back to that 366 days i spent, realized nothing but paradoxical feeling of empty and full....
there are parts of my life filled with emptiness from seperation, sorrow from turmoils and despair, but there are some immensed with adventures and discoveries....

2008, chapter18 of my life, has definitely became the turning point of my life, for i have tasted seperation from friends and family as to embrace something brand new, apart from the norms...breaking my ground to adapt to a different people of different culture and lifestyles...which somehow winds back to my past....the part of my life that i'll rather keep it buried in the deepest abyss than reveal it to anyone in this world...perhaps its a chance for me to master that fear i bear for my childhood, perhaps its a prelude to the upcoming life that awaits me....

Being 18 is a wonderful thing... not all in a positive manner though..hahaha...
At least i did something in my to-do list...haha
for instance...
took part time jobs...
got my driving licence...
became temporarily domestic...hahaha
managed to shave some weight...
reconnected with some old friends...
almost got into a relationship ( i guess..haha...not really sure bout this though...LOL)
done crazy stuff with my best friends...

made new friends...and i'm glad that they're so nice and sincere...though we didnt get to meet often...really fascinating fact of true friendship...
kinda screwed up my life and striving the turmoils...at least i'll become a better survivor...hopefully with promising change...
at least from this fluctuating life in 2008, i realized what matters to me the most, learn how to appreciate and cherish those i love, tasted the bittersweet lies and deception..

2009...chapter 19 of my life...wonder what would i write next..

National Park Trip 2008 : Day 4

2008-11-28T19:06:00.003+08:00

Breakfast was awesome

treasure hunt couldnt be conducted

everyone was busy packing

grabbed our last chance

taking as much photos as we could

exchange emails

the road back to PJ was really really jammed

Chris, Jens, Rex entertained us with jokes...

Qixiong, ZH were kinda unwell..motion sickness i guess

reached school at 7pm...

thanks to Rex n his bro for giving a lift home....

National Park Trip 2008 : Day 3

2008-11-28T17:49:00.002+08:00

another chilling breeze caress my body, forcing myself to awake with shivers

another cold wednesday morning

it gets to a blistering state when Andrew showed up with blue towel wrapped from his chest, trying to be a lady he claims...

instead he made everyone losing their appetite for breakfast when he walked around the camp site for several times...*darn you andrew*

breakfast *shit i cant remember what it was...*

as usual we lined up according to teams, listening to the guides' briefing regarding the activities

Cave exploration : Gua Telinga

just before the exploration, its another jungle trekking in the National Park with a different route yet even muddier than yesterday...

i kinda lost my sense of balance...not sure whether it was due to the palpitation yesterday...or the sight of Andrew walking around wrapped up in towels in my head...

unfortunately more ppl got attacked by the leeches...Andrew, Rex, Yousiang(if i'm not mistaken)

Amanda shrieked her high amplitude+frequency right at the entrance of the cave, how amusing that fear can made people react in such manner...shrieking, crying...

Mr.A'tan had to put her at his side so that he could do something right before she start another voice blast that might annoy the bats in the cave and put our lives in jeopardy...

Vic and I were at the back...so that we dont hav to get intact with much guano, hahaha

its been a while to see a metropolis of bats...luckily they are not annoyed by our voices

the path was really slippery.. some narrowed the space...luckily my body flexibility is still up to standart to adjust myself along with the rocks

team G1 was the first to get out from the cave

80m of exploring the cave...was a short trip...hopefully get to do it another time....

we've decided to take five at the small 'island' on the river...waiting for other teams to gather

we made sand castle and declared wars to invade and destroy other teams castle..

then it was the human pyramid..

kinda dissappointed when the gurls doubt of me being the base...

but it feels better when i proved that their infer was absolutely wrong...

hahaha

we went back for lunch drippin wet...

then we proceed to the river (again) for water confident activity, followed by a short canoe game..

the rain paid us her visit again and forced us to wait under the shed...

Mr.A'tan took the chance to show off another trick of the trade...by tearing a long, narrow piece of grass, put them in between thumbs and with few blow/suck of air, he can actually imitate the birds' chirping...and even got a reply from the birds...

everyone was stunned and quickly tried out...

most of us ended up failed...andrew was the first to succeed and he did pretty well..hahaha...

mine was okay..just need to practice more to get a higher pitch...

the guides started with a demonstration of how to use the PLJ(personal life jacket) properly...thanks to my experience in Wilderness Adventure camp in Pulau Tuba...i had no problem with my PLJ...

then teams were called to build up their confidence in water, to prevent unwanted happenings incase the canoe goes wrong ( like turning aside..etc)

my team was the last to call...we stood there in the rain, watching other teams shivering as they enter the water...

when its our turn...it didnt turned out to be as cold as how i imagined...maybe because we stood long enough in the rain to balance out the temperature difference...hahaha....

the confidence building was awesome...

i could have continue my swimming lesson...hahaha

after that, team members were divided into gangs of three as one of them have to carry 2 eggs as the others paddle their way to the other side of the river, and the eggs are transferred to the next gang....and the same routine continues...

the last gang: Amanda, Qixiong and Rex were about to finish the last round...the canoe turned over....everyone was stunned and worried, luckily the guides were fast enough to bring them back to the river back and let them start over...amazingly the eggs survived!!!! and they were still the first to complete the rounds..hahahaha....team G1 ROX!!!!

poor junfai couldnt stand the cold and had to sit aside with a blanket to keep him warmed up...

exhaustion and fatigue slowly conquered our body....

leaving us a little strength to walk to the shower and rejuvenate ourselves...

played few rounds of 'cho dai dee'...my luck was awesome since i'm not a good player...won 2 rounds..hahaha

it was BBQ dinner for being our last night here at the National Park...

spoiler: the chicken was offally burnt, and the teacher couldnt stop nagging about discarding the burnt and raw part...which kinda annoyed everyone ... ...

there was no choice but to cancel the camp fire due to the rain which made the firewood wet ( we should have collect and store them earlier...)

then it was the interact segment...we had the chance to exchange views and opinions, and we discovered that team G2's guide (Mr.Khairil) is younger brother of Mr.A'tan...kinda jinxed and reminded me of Kak Yan in W.A camp...she had quadruplet sisters...hahaha

then it was a rehearsal/discussion session for the team performance...

2 options were laid out...

a. sketch

b. song dedication

due to the time factor...most of my team members wanted option (b), i wanted to do a sketch though...but majority wins...

initially we agreed to sing Manbai's Kau Ilhamku...but then i dont know how the song was changed to a chinese song...

*the following statement might have offensive content..those who think they'll terasa sikit...please skip this part...this is solely my opinion, like it or not, its up to your decision*

i dont know why i got really emo when they decided to sing the chinese song...yes i could catch the tune..but to me its kinda incosiderate as our guide is a malay, and he might not understand the lyrics...

yes i know people will politely say that they can feel the sincerity although the language difference, but wouldnt be nice if the audience can get to understand the message even better? afterall we didnt communicate much during the activity...

then it was a surprise party for Qixiong .....and William....but seems that the focus was more on Q...maybe he's more popular...but at least W is not forgotten...

it annoys me more when there was a so called commercial break in the programme, and teachers had to translate almost everything to the guides so that they'll understand the content..

to me, the audience cant really enjoy the show as they were distracted by the translation and trying to enjoy simultaneously...

luckily D called and i couldnt bear much of the sight of the performance, so i ran into my room and answered the call...luckily D cheered me up and we talked about N's acc result...

too tired and fell asleep

National Park Trip 2008 : Day 2

2008-11-28T00:51:00.002+08:00

what a cold morning...woke up shivering as my sacromere is trying to generate heat for my body

Breakfast ..

Jungle trekking to hav a view of Mt.Tahan

rain has filled our track with mud..where Qixiong fell twice....Chialit was attached with a leech

sadly the weather wasn't kind to let us have a look at Mt.Tahan...

as we're leaving Terisik Hill...Mr.A'tan showed us these quirky stones

where grab one of those and rub against a surface,forming a lathery paste of the color of the stone, and u can use that to draw temporary tattoos or anything u want to decorate your body..even your hair...

we're given the chance to walk out the forest on our own...but the whole group was separated as the route got even muddier and more slippery. .

Minhui took a rest to ease her asthma...

there was a group who made it ahead came down to dilemma at the 2-way path...

Chialit got bit worried and decided to turn back to look for those who are left behind...

but as i was waiting for the boat to go back to camp site...most of the group are already on board and it was useless for Chialit to stay there and wait...

Chialit was the only one left missing when everyone returned for lunch...

there was no answer in his cellphone...

somehow, fear will induce some unnecessary imagination and worries that he might be lost

Hueyli was really uptensed as she sat down as the big stone, hoping to catch a view of her BFF going onboard back to campsite...

luckily chialit recognise the path and managed to reach campsite safe and jiggly

lunch

schedule was changed...

we're having rapid shooting instead of water confident activities..

we were quite blur bout this rapid shooting thingy...

team G1 was the first to go..as usual...

*sorry 'cos i didn't bring camera along...*

it was a sampan-like boat..with lots of partition which can only fit 2 person each..

i sat with Qixiong...talked about our camping experiences...

enjoyed the splashes and some competition with other boats...

everyone was trying to create the biggest splash on others...hahaha...

then we came for a stop of the "Jeram" (if I'm not mistaken)

Mr.Jilly Jolly Johari found lots of the color stones and really had fun with ZH as i drew him a new surfer's armband tattoo...only if there were no water splashes to wash it off...luckily his "highlighted" hair was safe..hahaha

Dinner

rain came at night again...made the insect race impossible to be conducted....and so it became free activity for us...which means card sessions!!!

played 'cho dai dee' with MQ,Mel,Denise,Seemun and Zoey...

Denise is such a pro in this...she won most of the time...sighs...luckily there was no $$$ involved

much later i joined the big gang to play 'mafia' (another card game)

quite tantalizing as everyone was itching to discover and fear to be 'killed' by the 'mafia'

i was only caught once when i was the 'mafia'....won the game twice...so as being mistaken as the 'mafia' by the 'police'....

at first there was punishment session...but as the night goes on, we couldnt bear much noise to disturb the neighbourhood.. and so that session was crossed off the list..hahaah

National Park Trip 2008 : Day 1

2008-11-27T23:50:00.002+08:00

woke up at 5am.

finally squeeeeeeeeeeeze everything in my green backpack..(should hav just buy a new one...)

then came the rain.

had a small glass of milo.

mom drived me to MQ's place, we almost got confused with the lanes...

arrived school at 6am..(being the earliest..)

waited until 7.30am ( i should hav just take the bus...)

gathering was boring...

briefing was...mundane...

bus & van were friggin late...

i was on the van with most of the guys frm L6S...

the journey was okay...ppl sang...played cards...

took few stops for Chialit (and others as well) to answer nature calls...

"are we there yet?"

my FAQ..

finally we made it...

settled the rooms...

we're all divided into 4 teams

i'm in team G1...

with Victor,Siujeen,Zhaoying,Amanda,QixiongRex,Chialit,Yousiang,Andrew,Qingli, & Dingsheng

first game: drinking straw building

played this last year with the prefects...

thanks to Vic's idea...and memories of observing the scouts

the wizard-hat tower was the winning building..hahaha

so we were treated with lime ice lolly..yum..a perfect treat after the exhaustion...sweet~

we were then introduced to our guides...

team G1 was assigned with Mr.A'tan(forgive me if there's spelling error..)

Dinner was okay...

Night walk in National Park..

excitement (and somehow eerie) was rushing within our spirit when we were embraced by the darkness and the glooms of our torchlights, as we carefully stepping into one of the oldest rainforest on earth...

observing the nocturnal insects with Mr.A'tan's detailed explanation was totally awesome...we even get to catch a glimpse of a firefly...again Mr.A taught us some trivia about fireflies...something that you're not gonna get if u're in K.Selangor..hahaha

We were blessed by luck to get to see a deer grazing grasses in the middle of the night....as 55 of voice-blasting trying hard to suppress their voicebox so that they dont frighten that lil' creature..

we even discovered the glowing mushrooms and fungus...

Mr.A can really be our temporary bio lecturer...and Pn.Felicia should have follow us along the trip...kinda missed her....hahaha

as we're about to continue...the rain couldnt hold much longer but to pour in heavy droplets...forcing us to leave the forest earlier than we should...

scrambled sunday

2008-11-24T00:48:00.006+08:00

The Bottom Line:
Tasks will require greater intensity than usual today. Your mind is a bit fuzzy.

In Detail :
Any time you spend your money today, whether you're just buying a cup of coffee or making a down payment on a home, the task will require greater intensity than it usually does. Numbers and financial issues are just hard for your brain to wrap its mind around right now and you could become quickly overwhelmed by interest rates, surcharges and taxes. It's not a good day to make any big business commitments, either. Wait until your left brain wakes up again.

I'm supposed to sleep now but i couldnt....

fellin' the rush of uncertainty into my head again...

read the previous stuff i wrote in my journal, feeling that pain again...the thoughts of him, the things he did to me...i'm fallin in my own fantasy...i guess*sighs*

still haunted by the memories of him...(gosh gotta get over this...gotta move on & find a new toy)

Taman Negara ...u better amaze me or else....

did u mean it with the words you said?

or they're just your play of deception?

perhaps a hidden blade to be plunged into my heart..

i was a fool to wonder about you...

for i've told myself not to fall

as your words

are sweet poison of strychnine

maybe i'm losing my strength
maybe i wanted a toy to entertain me
in the first place

maybe it was just a game afterall..

maybe i forgot about the rules

that we've agreed on

it sucks being the loser..

Colbie Caillat - The litte things

Sloppy saturday...

2008-11-23T00:21:00.002+08:00

sighs...lied on my bed as my sisters continue screaming at the top of their lungs........just to wake me up from my slumber.....as we're going to shop (again)...

i headed straight to shower found that both my sis were cookin'...mee sedaap...which they ended up arguing that it didnt taste THAT good afterall...while i'm sitting at the table, muching at my cereals (yummy...) watching those 2 fighting over ramen....*swt*

mom's car broke down again...sighs...we were lucky yesterday cuz the batteries are on strike today...Zach the mechanic came over and couldnt save 'em on the spot...which means another automobile operation...and another burning spot on my wallet...i'm the temporary bank to my mom since dad forgot to give her back her ATM card and brought it along with him to china...

we still made it to sunway...with no time to lose, we bought whatever is left in the 'to-buy' list...had lunch in the food court downstairs..(food was average...) met uncle sam..hahaha..he's funny...then mom insist of going to carrefour to get some shoes...which we ended up going home dripping wet as we arrived home around 4....surprisingly rain is always punctual to show up...its my second time going home in the rain ( no the umbrella won't work...) URGH!!!

re-pack my stuff again...sighs...what am i supposed to put in Sam (my luggage's name..you can guess the brand from it..haha)

finished writing some notes for the replacement teacher...tomorrow's going to be my last working day....cant help but to worry about my students...are they going to get well with the new teacher while i'm away? what about those who're going to perform next month, can they really hit my standards, or just merely follow the average one?...

i wonder anyone would actually play the videos i uploaded & kind enough to leave comment(s)...

Emery - The Ponytail Parade (might be an old song..but love the guitar works...)

three sleepless nights

this isn't how its supposed to be

but you're so good at taking your time to get back to me

and i will wait for you forever

if you would just ask me

and i thought that i could change you, but you've changed me

it doesn't feel right holding someone elses hand

together on phone lines, living at two opposite ends

it scares me to think that you could find takers other than me

and better than me

but your head is elsewhere and i'm talking enough for both of us

when will you see? it's not (it's not) so easy for me

But you're careless, (i fall from ) and whispered, (your eyes)(i trusted) insulting, and bruising (i thought that you said forever)and i thought that you said things were improving

these laces are untied, but my feet are still walking away. away.(laces .. are .. untied .. but my feet .. are still walking away)

never thought that you could say these words, is this really happening?

i never thought that you could say these words, is this really happening?(don't say...)

i never thought that you could say these words, is this really happening?(don't say that we can...)

i never thought that you could say these words, is this really happening?(don't say that we can still be... )

i never thought that you could say these words, is this really happening?(don't say that we can still be friends )

Erase my name from this page.

how can you take all these days?(what is inside of me, what have i done?)

and throw them away(is this the only way that you'll notice me?)

as i sit here waiting for you (for you)(dead words for closed ears all this is sung for you)

i stay up nights(if you're still pretending this is what's right)

until stars leave the sky(why can't you look at me can you only see)

knowing what my dreams can take away(one side your side, can take away)

Walk away from me.

This night is done.

freaky FRY-day?

2008-11-21T22:36:00.003+08:00

my skin contracts as the blistering breeze blew from the ceiling, feeling the trembling veins and muscles inside me, trying to generate heat to warm me up, with no pens to answer the sudoku, i read and read again the papers, as i waited 'patiently' for my turn at the ortodontics...holidays, what can i say...people got more freetime and made it to their appointment....

finally Dr.Chia got the colored brackets(whatever those are called..)...

i was given some sort-of royalty treatment as his new assistant,Shalini holds the colored brackets for me to choose....

i end up with purple and white/transparent...kinda regret to take those colors again...(it was the first color scheme i picked when i first got my braces installed..) should hav go for red + green, well..to match with the holiday season..ur hmm * clears throat*...christmas

hah...D is finally back..but do i hav the time for the meetup?
finally gotta chance to try out the snow ice...mine was greentea with red beans...oiishi ne....
oops...i forgot to take a photo of that dessert...next time maybe..haha

my stuffs are 60% packed....
was it just me or my mom and grandma are becoming so freakin out of everything....HURSH!!! chingsin's rule: never ever think of shh-ing me...or try to take over whatever i'm doing

Meliza's off to India...
Su-woei .... Bali...
Me...Beijing....
a lot of my friends are away ... so as i.... sighs...thought i could utilise my December for meetups...looks like i'll hav to wait for January...hopefully...

P.S: hope u guys like my new gadget at the right panel...haha

john legend ft. lauryn hill - so high (cloud nine remix)

..::SYX::..

2008-11-17T21:45:00.005+08:00

Its been

... years of living in my Subang Jaya home

... months since i entered Form6

... weeks since the last time i met D n N

... days since mom bought the cakes from SR

... hours since i got home from school today

... minutes since the internet connection stumbled for a while

... seconds since i re-realized how screwed up my life has become

damn it!

stumbling sunday

2008-11-16T23:54:00.004+08:00

today's work...hurm....quite a breeze...perhaps im in a laid back mood....

skipped lunch to buy books for donation, a 7 years old girl name Joyce and a 4 years old boy name Aoron....hopefully they'll like the books i chose for 'em....forgot to include bookmarks....sighs..clumsy me.....

SUPPORT MPH'S SHARE-A-GIFT CAMPAIGN...

1. choose a card(with a child's name written) from the Christmas tree at MPH bookstores...

2. select the book(s) of your choice for the child based on the age and gender....

3. pay for the book(s) and the shopkeeper will wrap it/them at no cost...*you might want to include a bookmark as well...*

4. write your Xmas message on the card and place your present at the Christmas tree, your gift(s) will be sent to the child/children of the orphanage on Xmas day....

my heart is really torn to see others who are lucky, fortunate to live with their passion, to make music as their life, for i can only split a lil' of my time with my piano...there's so much i want to do,chasing my dream to be a performing pianist..to play in concertos...or even my own recital....if only there's someone who can really understand...

you might ask : what about your family support? what a stupid,imbecile question....of course they wont, and they'll never do...they see me as an outsider, for i have nothing in common, for i always have a so-called bizzare mindset, appetite(seriously...),interest.....which makes me wonder, i've grown with 'em all these years in the same house, how could i be THAT peculiar...

this is why i really cherish D...for the first time in my life i've met someone of "my kind", someone who i can really share my thoughts...without being bombarded with rejection, without wasting my time to debate for my stand...

D i just want you to know how special,precious you meant to me,

that i cannot possibly live a second without you in my life,

that my soul yearns for you when you're outta my sight,

for i've been tormented in agony

since life set us apart,

missing you

love

Ne-Yo : Miss Independent (gotta luv it..)

two days in Midvalley

2008-11-15T21:53:00.002+08:00

Frank Sinatra - Fly me to the moon

FRIDAY

got my report card......apparently mom's school event dragged her late....plus she hopped onto the wrong cab.....made me the last to leave......

homeroom teacher did quite alot of constructive comments of my progress...mom, a teacher as well....agreed in what she said..hahaha....then mom saw her old friend...and again....a typical teacher's reaction....talk...talk...talk...

then i walked mom n sis to the bus station....to go home via cab.....which then me n my other sis....went on to midvalley for movies.....

bumped into a lot of ppl frm school...oh well...midvalley is the nearest mall.....hahaha...

we were too late for the 1330 slot...so we had no choice but to watch the 1600 movie.....

*sobsob* it was from the same producer who brought us the film, Quill....

the storyline was almost similar...but there was a slight twist....watch it then u'll know....it'll be just a spoiler if i tell the whole story....

then when me n sis came out....it was already 1900...friggin KL traffic jam....only got onboard at 2010 hours.....lucky that the bus wasnt crowded all the way home.....TIRED

SATURDAY

Happy fabulous 18th birthday Su-Woei!!!!!

woke up pretty late....took a quick shower then off to MidValley...again....

this time it was the whole family outing.....to buy clothes for the beijing trip..

kinda regretted for forgetting to reserve movie tickets.....shockingly long queue...mayb its my first time que up to buy movie tix...hahaha...too used to reservation services..hahaha...

strangely...having the perfect seat in the THX hall...watching a movie that i've been waiting for months...my heart wasnt satisfied...is it because i was watching it alone, instead of wrapping my mind with the hope that someone will keep the promise : to watch the movie together....

my shopping bargains

1. a nice navy+white striped shirt,jeans frm PDI....

2. jeans frm Goggles...was about to buy this off-shoulder green top/peasant blouse too....but my sisters were aweful advisors, mom busy looking for clothes for brother....their attitudes became the spoiler of my day...which i cant take the risk of buying that garment yet..

3. STPM workbooks frm MPH ( finally got 'em, ur hum....MPH midvalley rocks...)

missed the first bus...thanks to the stubborn Metro bus(driver) who reluctantly drive off as the conductor was shouting places to attract more passengers onboard....*ONLY METRO BUSES DO THAT* and my rapid U67 was approaching and couldnt stop at the bus stop...with no choice, it drove away...and we had to take U63 ( which that damned METRO bus drove away later) and discovered another U67 behind us.....so we stopped at sunway..switched to U67...for that is it only bus which passed by my house...*sad*

gramma just came home...so we took her out for dinner....bumped into my colleagues ( they were about to leave ).....the food was great...just the typical chinese restaurant atmosphere spoiled my mood...

just read bout my friend's lost.......not a person...but item....yea...typical nowathesedays....cellphone.....curse those pickpockets.....i'm glad that i managed to get my N70 back....the snatch thief might be amateur one, who messed with the wrong person..haha....

happy weekend?...so not..

one of my favourite: Mr.Frank Sinatra - New York,New York (yea you heard this in Madagascar 1...)

Daniel Powter - Loves you lately...

Field trip to UM...

2008-11-12T17:05:00.004+08:00

mundane...urm no, extreme boredoom in the morning....teacher was bit late to school...

had a trip around the botanical garden in their campus....quite a modern forest with man made trails...hopefully the trip to national park wouldnt dissapoint me....kinda felt like going back to the life as one of the Belatrix, my camp group in Wilderness Adventure P.Tuba (P.Langkawi) back in 2004, cant forget the cute trainers....*giggles* only that the forest in P.Tuba is the real deal...slippery forest mountains and sandy beaches with sea porcupine hidden beneath...one wrong step will cause you your life....living in a reserved forest sanctuary ROX!!!! too bad i didnt hav the photos...sighs....only the tshirt they gav to us at the end of the camp...

Pn.Felicia, what can i say...she can really tell you exactly what the plants hanging on your head are, and the story of her varsity life in the 70's.....together we were kinda left behind...thanks to Kwanseng n Karjun's booming voice....Qixiong n I managed to lead the rest of us back with the group...

later we hit the gallery after the blood sweat and tears we shed in the trekking...(blood as in feeding mosquitos, tears...urm...hopefully no one cried of fear...), ease the tiredness andobserved the preserved insects...and plants as well...hahaha.....

then there's this visit to the engineering faculty....the briefing/short talk/video presentation..then we were divided into smaller groups....i was in the group to visit the biomedical engineering side....kinda cool as we get to see Andrew being tested for his fitness level....as for me, i tried out the EMG electromyography on both of my biceps....biomed engineering sounds really kewl....but to pursue that, i must study physics....yikes....have i made the wrong decision...? hahaha.....

cant believe that next week is my only week to do whatever i can in hols...before i leave for NP trip and Beijing...shit my soil analysis...must complete it ASAP....and not to mention meeting up with friends...ARGH....wrestling with time is never easy....

James Morisson, his sultry voice that stirred my heart and untangle my troubled soul, *blush* my crush...hahaha....*giggles* hope i wont miss his gig in the future..hehe....

mmmm

there's so much craziness surrounding me

there's so much going on it gets hard to breathe

all my faith has gone you bring it back to me

you make it real for me

well im not sure of my priorities

ive lost site of where im ment to be

and like holy water washing over me

you make it real for me

and I'm running to you baby

you are the only one who save me

that's why ive been missing you lately

cause you make it real for me

when my head is strong but my heart is weak

im full of arrogance and uncertainty

but I can find the words you teach my heart to speak

you make it real for me yea

and i'm running to you baby

you are the only one who save me

that's why ive been missing you lately

cause you make it real for me

everybodies talking in words I don't understand

you got to be the only one who knows just who I amand

you shine in the distance I hope I can make it through

cause the only place that I want to be is right back home with you

I guess theres so much more I have to learn

But if you're here with me

I know which way to turn

You always give me somewhere, somewhere I can learn

You make it real for me

And i'm running to you baby

Cause you are the only one who save me

That's why ive been missing you lately

Cause you make it real for me

you make it real for me

deafening voices in my head...

2008-11-11T20:41:00.002+08:00

Ribbons tied on the car,

a bride covered in veil,

her heart filled with anxiety and excitement,

as her happiness awaits for her

at the end of the journey....

Ribbons tied on her bag,

which she held on to her closely,

coyly she hopes

and prays

that he'll notice the waving satin...

Ribbons tied on her bag,

which he stares whenever she's not watching.

Butterflies in his stomach,

heartful of hopes and fear,

as he seeks the perfect time

to pull out the knot,

for a promdate...

urm...somehow i got the inspiration to write this when i saw a bridal carriage on the way home, with the bride sitting inside patiently waiting to get through the traffic jam...

then i start to wonder how she felt that moment...and somehow linked to the story told by Diyana about her ribbon tradition....which i later practice it as well.....urm...hopefully she wont mind me writing this...

Ribbon tied on his wrist,

her prayers has come true,

together they shall wear the knots,

until the evening they await

is finally over.

Ribbons tied on her hair,

waiting for the other pair to emerge

among the sea of ribbons.

Solely she stands in the windy night of December

as her lavender bow waves

for its partner on his wrist.

Hours flew away mercilessly,

as she left the ballroom,

with the loosed ribbon in her hands

tears in her heart...

as you can see.....there are four cakes hanging around in my fridge...yes my sisters did went to Taipan and bought 'em....there's classic cheese, cappucino cheese, white chocolate macadamia and chocolate chip walnut.....hehehe....pictures are not going to be uploaded here, so i wont get bashed by any boozoos tomorrow....hahaha

Amanda brought the whole class sushi!!! omg i thought it was just a joke.....thats really kind of her( her sister actually) to spend quite a time to prepare 'em.....thanks ya...if you're readin'

stupid palpitation again....almost went on for a continuation....hope it wont happen tomorrow....

today's the first day of SPM 2009.....a year has passed....

once again i saw a replay of incidents, of my memories....the day i shared my Brand's with D, which eventually repeated for few days later. It is the day when i was bit dissapointed with the subject which i got a B...the only B among the As....then images of me, D, and N, hiding in the room, away from the people we hate, away from the aura of anxiety that has spread to almost all corners, away from worries.....we talked about our never-going-to-come-true tomyam trip to thailand, sleepovers.....

and now we're stranded in different land, facing the cruel fate that not everyone will get what they wished for, and strived to survive in the situation it puts us in, maybe to ignite the survivor inside us, to embrace the challenges and to learn from our mistakes, maybe...

but to be tormented by loneliness,isolation and dissapointment, is not something i can really deal well....my hug addiction is gettin worse day by day, my emotions starts spinning around ( emo you might say )...haunted by the fear of my childhood...that the situation will replay and bring back the pathetic mask ...

CL : "wow its impressive that you can keep with that optimistic vibe when u're not accepted in any groups and roommates last friday...wish i could be just like you...no, i shall learn that from you..."

me : "urm..."

mayb i'm a good pretender afterall...hiding my true emotions, identity(that was long time ago...)

another thing i hate my memory is him...still cant let go the moments spent with him, how sweet he was, the way he hugs me, all the things he said to me....*gasp* still, i wished i could just undo the mistakes i've done...the story would hav a different development, or a better ending....

frustrated...mayb i deserved to be treated this way...

2008-11-08T00:06:00.000+08:00

my heart blooms when it comes to Fridays.....what can i say, its my favourite day...hahaha

yesterday,received this GERKO card thingy...and has my co-curriculum marks and grading written in it....i'm doin quite okay in my clubs(got a 'B') but since i'm not involved in other category...the final marks and grade were pulled down to a 'D'....mom was furious when i asked her to sign the card....guess i'll hav to be more flexible next year...as studies are more intense and juggling the activities, distance and time....not to mention my stamina.....

staring at my phone, keyed-in the code to check my credit...(envy me..) i got so much to spend but dunno what to start....i dont really text my friends that often anymore since all of us are bound to our studies and work....worse when it comes to phone calls...

still...i was down to emotion wreck(again)...and Andrew was asking me whether i'm interested to take English literature....kinda tempted but before the decision is made....better seek for consultation and advice....so i called ray....listening to his Celine Dion caller ringtone....hoping that he'll pick up the call since he didn't reply my text....

my soul was shaken by surprise and joy when i heard that familiar voice again...across thousand miles through radio waves provided and money charged by third party, stimulating the audio nerves into my brain....(okay that was too bio....) finally after such a long time parted, i finally got to talk to Ray again....kami-sama knows how much i missed him ever since our last meet at his B'day party...he's like a compliment part of me...like the nucleotides of DNA strands.....like cytosine and guanine, or adenine and thymine...hahaha ( okay i'm too obsessed with bio....)

he was supposed to go to CHS and i'm the one who supposed to join him.....but he realised that he needa getaway from temptations and distractions by transferring to Penang...though i knew how much life over there cannot be compared to life over here....how his lies to his mom that he 'enjoys' his new life...without him tellin me.....(yesh i luv it when i can read minds....maybe i'm just understand 'em too much..hahaha) sharing our passion in biology and gossips, tv shows ( finally there's someone i can really talk to after since joinin F6...)

life is sure more fabulous with ray by my side, and yes i wish we can be together inF6, in which our plan of revolution might worked out and we'll be the new FAB DUO in school....relive the days in tuition, of us being the popular duo in class....bursting with laughter and peculiar academic jokes......memories that i'll never trade for the world....

at least by chattin with him i regain the courage to pick myself up from wreckage...tellin' myself that i can do it....(hopefully...) refilled the leaky tank of hopes.....somehow...only to realize that i've really twisted my plan of my future....which everything wasn't how it supposed to be.....athe only thing i can do is to improve 'em, like how oysters were tormented by that bit of sand tearing their delicate flesh but patiently churn their agony into glowing pearls....

and so, for those who's currently living in devastation with nothing but despair....live your life like an oyster.....hahaha

stupid palpitation....happened again not long ago before i'm typing this post....was watching the last episode of latte@8, damn i didn't getta chance to go to sunwaypyramid to watch that show in live broadcast....well as i was saying, regarding this moronic palpitation....i dunno who/what to blame....me or my brain....?

last week...(if i'm not mistaken...) was major ....3 times in a day....morning...afternoon...then at night....thankfully i managed to tuned my heartbeat down to normal, and my blood pressure as well...if not i'll end up being dizzy...the inner ear will lose the ability to detect pressure and soon i'll be half deaf....my eyes see nothing but white light which blind my eyes....drops of cold sweat sliding down my skin....and it all ends with me passing out, unconscious....

all the doc could only said to me was: " my dear...relax....dont suppress yourself with such tension/stress, "

and if he takes my blood pressure, this is what he'll say : " oih...there's no need for you to go on diet...eat as much as you can lar....urm....high-blood pressure patients will hate you for this.....b'cos you hav to increase your salt intake, so be free to eat as much chinese food as you wish, as long as your blood pressure rise to normal...." (me: swt...)

class today...how should i put it....

PA....a twist of Mr.Shan regular style of lecturing.....pop quiz...and phew i managed to answer his questions...hahaha

BIO....oh no....Mrs.Felicia was absent....boring....

ENGLISH....i think Mr.William skipped teaching......another boring hour

MATH.....wow i luv differentiation.....thanks to my sis for asking me to teach her in her F4 differentiation....luv graph sketching....haha.....

briefing bout NP trip...C.H.A.O.S.....(sorry guys if u're reading this...)

the chaos started when we're supposed to find our own group members and roommates....

it is really obvious that i'm not really welcomed as a newbie...compared to others...i'm left alone, buzzing around wondering is there any possible group that i can join, detecting the "roommate wanted" signals.....

results : negative

is it wrong, for me to grow up in a different culture than others ( yea i dont really know much of my chinese background )....including my family ( obviously my views and culture are different than theirs, even though we live in the same house.... )

am i commiting a crime for just being myself and punished by being isolated?
URGH!!!!!! what a spoiler to my fabulous friday....

went to 100yen shop again....as mom got a receipt from her colleague, which i could use it to redeem the membership..hahaha...sis bought some deco things as a b'day present for her friend...as for me...might consider to go to the shop's party tomorrow....hahaha

HAPPY DEAD COCKROACHES...yea i hunt and 'em

baywatch cockroaches ?

potato wedges marinated in a pool of chili sauce,part of the memories of me&D in high school

tantalizing tuesday? or just terrifying one?

2008-11-04T21:36:00.000+08:00

FINALLY GOT MY HANDS ON THE COCKROACH...urm...cockroaches to be precise.....caught 3 with william n gabriel today...behind the school hall and scouts' room....mine almost escaped luckily i heard sum girls shouting at it...and i just sprinted, grab that 'runner' at instance and shove it back to the plastic bag...muahahaha...mayb it just hated the captivity inside the plastic...should hav put it in container....then i could hav shake it..for fun...bwahahaha..!!!!

damn they stink....worse when i injected the formaldehye...stings my eyes..and tears sliding down my cheeks...haha....and i managed to preserve one during bio .... continue on the 2nd one after school....luckily i could get on the bus...if not i'll hav to carry the 2 fellas ( you know who...) all the way home...imagine how the ppl's reaction when i get on board on public bus..maybe some of them might offer me a seat...hahaha....who knows...

thanks to sniffing the ether....had a really really decent afternoon nap....more like pass out....hahaha

chemistry was fun...haha...i luv organic chemistry...hahaah...
told mom bout my math test....really strange as i expect her to scold and ground me.....but she didnt....scary leh....who knows whats playin in her mind......
she acted like a lil' gurl when i told her bout comin to school to get the report card...'cos she doesnt know the direction to school....and refused to take the cab home by herself....could hav go home with her by bus but there's briefing bout the National Park trip and Science & Math board meeting (maybe) afterschool....
well she cant just stay in school doin nth but to wait for me....sighs...gotta seek a perfect solution A.S.A.P...hahaha

sumone plz help me hunt sum house flies....to complete my individual preservation assignments...ARGH!!!!

a prelude to disaster?

2008-11-02T23:33:00.000+08:00

OMG....MY CHEESECAKE...TASTE SOOOOOOO GOOOOD....
haha might sound like i'm braggin' but seriously...i'd never expect it to turn out to be this yummy..hahaha.....though mom said it was a lil' sour for her...mayb b'cos of the lemon juice....hmm......the only flaw to me is the base.....its too hard compared to the oreo cookie base...haha

got murukku frm a student today..haha but most of 'em really screw their class today....got really angry for myself....now i realized how my teacher felt when i didnt practice or complete my homework...sighs....

cant believe i actually skipped Supernatural for posting this blog...oh no! (T~T)

first post of Nov2008

2008-11-02T01:04:00.000+08:00

there we have her again...Lady time has worked her magic so well....that i dun even realized how slick she slipped outta my fingers....approx 43 weeks of her trails had vanished beyond me....since the day i bid farewell to my life as a twelvean....no that i'm being proud of my high school...just really really really yearned to relive those magical moments .... with D, N, Syaz, all the seniors....

somehow....no matter how hard i tried....it seems impossible to blend into the new environment if nobody dare to break off their limit and accept changes and the differences lied in front of them....or am i too stubborn to 'evolve' and still believe in my 'revolution' ?

life has terribly embraced me with confusions, lies, and false hope.....no i'm not playing the blame game here....just not feelin' comfortable to become troubled and disturbed.....every good thing always has to come at the wrong time...or to the wrong person....maybe i should stop complaining....try to look around and think it all over, perhaps my good days might outweight the bad days

loneliness has become a good companion of mine...
typical life after high school i guess....
longing for that someone to dry the tears from my weary eyes...
to turn my midnights into day...
to gimme the courage to climb that hill, strive through these weary days and
sleepless nights...
is it time for me to reach out?
i wonder...

he makes me love him even more with that sultry..irresistable voice of his..

i want huggies....such a huggaholic....
when can i finally get over the lies and fake hopes he made...?*sighs*

2 more weeks before the major holidays roll in.....less than 4 weeks before my flight to Beijing with dad... no vision of whats gonna knock my day....

annoyed by revolting manners....cursed mondays

2008-10-27T23:16:00.000+08:00

hurm.....i'll start with summaries of the past few days...

FRIDAY
exam is considered over....just that upon teachers' request ( more to like their order...) it is decided that the speaking test shall be conducted right after the Diwali holidays....with classes starting in alphabetical order....

later when i reached home...it was a bit late that usual....quickly rushed to shower and lunch....then grab the bus to USJ8...which the rain showered on me for a moment right before i hop on the other bus to summit...where i asked my senior to join me at the arcade for house of the dead4....abd to settle my salary since the accountant did wrong calculation....*swt* =.=

first of all...
i regretted on going out on fridays, especially when i'm takin the bus home...and its rainy season..
must improve my gaming skills...stop being blur during the game..hahaha
my finger suffered from severe blister....OUCH!!!
must at least being along a friend when u're meeting new people...at least u'll erase that awkwardness

felt bad when i rejected my senior's friends' invitation to watch HSM3...even though he ( my senior) tried to convince me to just go along with majority....
sorry dude.....thats not me.....its not worth my time to do things that i dont like....had enough of those in my current life now....really sorry if i offended anyone....

spending the whole night trying on clothes for the symposium tomorrow....so that my attire wont clash with the dress code....

SATURDAY
its the symposium that we've been waiting for....( okay thats too fake.....i almost forgot bout that until pn.felicia asked us again to RSVP..)
carpooled with MQ ... on the way saw an approx. 5m long python lying on the road...cute..its logical since the morning was blistering cold...and that poor python just wanna curled up on that warm pavement so it wont freeze to death.....there was this rush in me to stop the car and carry that python home as my pet...hehe....but then i'll be disowned by mom instead...haha

then we pick up seemun....and MQ's mom was really kind to drive us to the LRT station.....
phew we came early.....*too early*....we managed to arrive KLCC at 0745...and yes we were the champion of being the earliest..hahaha....then seemun was craving for breakfast....then the guys came too...so as others....which ZY got lost in KLCC mall...and Mel n I had to venture into the mall in order to guide the lost princess outta the "forest" of boutiques....hahaha....

it was merely 5 minutes stroll from AvenueK mall to the symposium venue : Corus Hotel....and yet again....we the lost students of CHS have become one of the earliest to arrive the hall....which the professors insisted us to recharge our so-called tired body with the breakfast outside the hall...haha.....
then the breakfast lane was getting more crowded...everyone was busy chit-chatting...
somehow....JFai, KJun and me started a conversation with a lady,which hereby i'll call her as M *dunno who started it....mayb it was me..hahaha* then we kinda hav some casual talk and we were asked to guess her age....yet...no one got it right...she was a fine gracefully poised lady with the age of 64!!!!!!!!!possessing the "SK-II" type skin...radiant glow with almost flawless...and no sign of 60's...
then she shared her secret of antioxidants and some knowledge regarding free-radicals with us...and we were introduced to a friend of her, again we started another conversation...

and now as the symposium has started, all of us were thrilled, aniticipating the talk would be an adventure of chemistry....
it did happened...but then as the professors kept on stating things that we've not encountered, we were slowly consumed by boredom and lost in the words....sighs....we couldnt even make up an intellectual question but explanation...in which we held within our heart and seek the answers from pn. tan after the holidays..hahaha

and finally came lunch time.....i was kinda late as the girls already gathered at the tables and left no seat for me...(well...i guess i'm not that welcomed anyway...) so i took the risk of joining K.Jun, Andrew and K.Seng as they were talking with another lady,G...where she was promoting the benefits of natural supplements enriched with antioxidants...( G and M are friends...) and then somehow...M came to join us and demonstrated the wonders of this supplement called, LifePak...
and yea...we were amused by the so-called effectiveness of the pill since it has longer lasting antioxidant ability...
then we were given few packs of the samples...

after lunch...we were supposed to leave as it was only appreciation speech regarding Dr.Rayson Huang as one of the pioneers of free radical research....
but then we insist to shield the school's reputation as the organizer's was complimenting on our proactiveness in participation in their events earlier ago....
so we fought hard against boredoom...and drowsiness
as the appreciation speech is over...there was a surprise celebration for Dr.Huang as he turns 88...so while the waiter was bringing in a B-day cake....we the CHS students rised with excitement and sang the birthday song...yea we were mad that time...hahaha

it all end to photo book autograph session and FINALLY, we're going home!!! yay!!!!
unfortunately we came to the station at its peak hours....most of us had to queue to buy tickets...luckily for me n J.fai for having TnG card.....we passed the counter as easy as the simple passive diffusion...while others were sort of active transport..haha.....

then everyone parted to their own destination...which MQ, S.mun and me together....at KTM...
gosh it was friggin crowded and i almost didnt get in....at first i had to squeeze myself against the door...dangerous..then accidentally stepped on a lady's foot...*ouch!*

worst was, mom called and she didnt hav any idea how to drive to the KTM teminal...which i spent minutes on the phone directing her...yet she failed...so i dediced that she'll piack me up at the bus station, as i'll walk out frm the terminal to the station myself...

Sis, C.ting was on a day trip to genting as well....and we decided to hav pizza dinner since mom's lazy to cook...haha....
luckily the pizza voucher i got frm hitz.fm cruisers was still valid...so we rushed to Domino's.....then head to ATM to witdraw sum $$ while confirmed whther dad's paycheck being deposited....bought sodas and groceries frm supermart....then back to fetch the pizzas (boy arent they smell good...hahaha) and lastly pick my sis frm her friend's place and home to ease our starvation..hahaha.....
meanwhile we watched this singaporean movie...smth called "money not enough2", didnt enjoy it 'cos the dialogues are mainly hokkien...which i hav no idea what the characters are talking about...

my feet cramped....OUCH!!!

SUNDAY
back to my normal routine, work.
received few calls and texts about students absence to class..shit i hav to giv 'em replacement...gotta tell the boss to slightly change the policy so that we teachers wont get exploit...
shockingly....i only taught 3 students today...from 1430 onwards,students in that time are not able to attend, and my work is done by 1400....the shortest working hour so far....which i surprised all my colleagues as i told 'em bout my day...thankfully i dont hav to deal with more which i now rememer to accompany her to find the tailor to make her some formal replacement..haha...if not i think i'm gonna die from tortured by my students punctuality....

probablly 'cos of the sudden temperature change yesterday...didnt feel well and called mum to pick me up early...which i remember to accompany her to find the tailor to make formal attires for her to wear...most of the time we end up in dissapointment as we couldnt find a satisfying design....so we decided to go home...

which came another problem...we hav to pick grandma from my cousin's place and she bought some poultry which made it hard for us to go out for dinner.....
so mom decided to call uncleSam to take away....

later ironed all the uniforms and some of mom's garments....while watching DVDs and followed by Supernatural....poor Sam got stabbed and i must catch up the next episode...but i'm sure that he's not gonna die.....the show is meaningkess without him..hahah

i luv Jared Padalecki..heeheee

MONDAY

okay i did woke up with a lil bad mood....got scolded by mom ..
cleaned the floors upstairs....and toilet as well...
then i ate too much bananas until i was too full for lunch...
helped mom to settle dad's creditcard payments, weather was scorching hot, luckily she was driving the old Saga....yes he might be old for car's age...but the aircondition is superb, comparable to a new car's .
finished math homework at once..whoa...welll just F5stuff and practically revision-wise questions....
at least read Harper's Bazaar....RDAsia (July issue).....which then DINNER TIME!!!
then Dad was online on Skype....which mom told him bout sis C.han's troubled at ACE-Ed...which she got scolded like mad with dad caling frm Beijing......some how his parenting method seems revolting to me...okay i was bit exaggerating...but i can hardly tolerate with dad's attitude and most of all his ego....which is why i always end up in a fight with him and got myself beatened....
is this one of the reason why i'm losing interest to men..hahaha...i'm prolly too early to develop such thoughts....hahaha

the air was friggin dry today....not even the whole bottle of lotion would moiturize a small patch of my skin...ARGH!! still feelin the side effect of cramp on my left foot....where's A when i need him.....$tupi!d liar...
cant really put much pressure on that foot or else i'll hav shocks ...

somehow it irritates me for those who claimed to be there for me as friend just to comfort me....in the end the actions speaks another than the words they gave to me....

was i just jealous that i was only a toy for that particular person....or i fell into the trap....sighs.....
loneliness has driven me nuts......HELP ME!!!!!!!

Sassy saturday????

2008-10-19T00:25:00.000+08:00

haha mayb not.....

i'm supposed to wake up at 8 and buy the papers....my dopamine lost their game against my serotonin...haha...soo i shut the alarm and continue tellin myself :"5 more minutes...."

which i woke up at 9....hahaha......

saturdays are usually chores day....its when i spent the whole morning/afternoon cleaning the house....hahaha....

the sassy part was...i went to taipan with mom....bought fruits....*gosh...i bought a lot this time..haha*

as we were about to leave...i saw that familiar sigh.....100 yen shop....

that voice in my head.....keep on saying : OMG MUST GO AND CHECK IT OUT....MUST ENTER THAT SHOP.....MUST BUY SOMETHING.......MUST GO TO THAT SHOP....

mom was curious bout it...cuz she never been there before.....then my eyes were served with such panoramic view of japan products....hahaha.......(u can find some of them in Jusco....)

it happened suddenly with a rush of excitement....as i saw that thing....

my proud bottles...watch out boys..

D will overexcitedly kill me when she sees these..

can you hear the whispers in my head tellin me to quit diet?

someone please buy them for me....

POP SODA!!!!! + CRAYON SHIN CHAN!!! = MUST HAVE!!!!

finally...found them...

so sleek and cute.....hahaa

this one located at SS2....the one in taipan has the ice dessert booth placed at the right.

saw this kitty when i was cycling

we actually hav a bit similar sleep posture....u'll see me in that during the mornings in school...hahaha

didnt get to study, was catching up Grey's Anatomy.....then assist my sisters in math.....F2 n F4 topics at the same time....then......judging by the late hours.....decided to study math n bio later....and post my blog as i promised D haha...she's one of the ppl who has the influence on my judgement and decision....hahaha...

cant believe that finals gonna end that soon.....

dont you find it strange that its so paradoxic....

for one moment it seems creepingly slow....but u suddenly felt a flashed as it passed.....

sighs....wish me luck in my finals.....to those having the same fate as i am......good luck and all the best....

XOXO

C.H.A.O.S. ft not-so-sweet 'confession'

2008-10-09T22:56:00.000+08:00

FREAKIN' EXPERIMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CLUMSY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW COULD THIS HAPPENED!!?!!?!!?!!?!!?!!?!!?!!?!!?!!?!!?!!?!!?
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

friggin experiment during practical....argh! 5 samples....and i messed up everything....sighs....
even teacher already explained to us.....still....almost everyone remained blur of the procedures...
there was a combo in procedure (a), which i think it should be seperated since....a repetition step is required for the coming samples....thats where i screwed up....suppose to add the ester once but i stupidly add the ester into the sample regularly for like.....3 times.....SHYT!!!!!!!!

and WORSE is i forgot to premix sample5 since it needs to be settled for half 'n hour...and i got no time to titrate 'em.......ai ya ya ya ya

strangely i've been extending my morning sleep this week,from the bus to canteen to the ministair case of the assembly ground....prolly cuz of the hols..hahaha...

somehow....mothers are the best helper and the worst enemy in the kitchen....
well..we were baking bread today and trying out a new recipe...almond bread....
then i've told her to put a whole cup of those almond flakes so it'll be a lil' saturated with the almonds...and the bread slices will look much better....

then she didnt....and what came out? the "i-told-you-so" situation....it didnt came out THAT bad...but not to my standards...sorry mum....HAHAHA

aunt LY came to my orthodontist for consultation...and kinda bad news for her as she realize how EVIL her orthodontist is.....wish she could just change the orthodontist in charge....cuz mine ROCKS...hahaha...(PS: he got the goverment scholarship and graduated from UK then return to m'sia for work..) urm...and a 'lil naggy....still...he ROCKS....BWAHAHAHA

sometimes i still dont feel comfortable being in this new environment...the ppl are so reluctant to change for good,to extend their horizons, i'm being sovereign due to culture difference...though i'm a chinese just like 'em....really felt as if i'm from the other planet, being the jimmy choo among flipflops....get what i mean????????

really missed the times when i used to give and get huggies....whenever we feel happy or down the mood....there's ppl offering hugs all the time...unlike where i am now.....
(so to all my BFFs : if you're reading this...you know what to do..hmm? )

*due to my lazyness...i'll upload the photos...soon..hahaha*

GNO-BRJY-TMS-SQR 1003008

2008-10-03T22:54:00.000+08:00

okay...chaotic morning as D texted that her relative passed away and she had a funeral to attend...then the GNO was delayed....

later N texted saying that she cant make it to the delayed GNO cuz her mom would be mad...

i was kinda frustrated as things spinned around like this....sighs....D texted again saying that her dad is driving her n syaz straight to times,back to original time @ 1.30pm...which gave me no much time to relax but to get shower and dressed up...and catch the bus...

when everything is prepared and i was ready to sprint my way to the bus stop...N called that she could make it again cuz her mom agreed on our 1.30pm GNO.....so i spent a little time waitin for N to pick me up....watching the bus drove away from my home....hate things go whacko...

it was the first time for me n N taking the KTM...well...the station was kinda old and dull...but the train was quite okay...by the time we reached kl central was already 1.30pm...and we had to walk out to the monorail station and buy the tickets again...so...we reached times @2.00.....
where we waited for D n syaz.....so....we all started GNO @2.20pm.....sighs...we really needa fix this timing error....hahaha

went to the fish spa....haha....and D n syaz appeared to be fish magnets as the fishes gathered around their feet and enjoy their lunch ( the fishes were more attracted to syaz's leg hair...and the chinese guys were like : ohmygod..his leg hairs are getting lesser)...as for me.....they ( the fishes) would only devour my dead skin only when my feet was alone in the pool...seriously tingling and ssenssational..(yea....emphasise on the 's' pronounciaion...) hahaha
lepak around...looking at toys and stuffs ( yea....again....the same routine at sunway....) what to do? we didnt wear the right shoes for bowling...because..:
1. i'm wearing flip-flops
2. D's right heel was scraped and bleed...

A couldnt make it to our GNO cuz his sis's car's road tax expired, and he had to lend his car....so....we couldnt venture into i-socks....where we stood outside of the store watching gazette on the wall and the tv screen....

then it was home for us....since N's mom was kinda furious that N's not home yet.....
typical scene in railway station...ppl dont line up.....there was this repulsion of ppl going in and out from the monorail...and damn the supervisor for only start to make ppl line up after the 'repulsion' happened...
we had to wait for the next monorail since we couldnt get in...luckily we got in the second time...but the guys behind us werent that lucky...

we hugged before we part for buses and KTM....knowing that this might be our last GNO until the arrival of 2009.....

on the way home...felt sad for N as she tells me bout her life....being over-protected and controlled...glad that my mom doesnt treat me that way.....

PS : I WANT A SOFT COPY OF THE PHOTOS WE TOOK TODAY......!!!! MAIL IT TO ME...TQ

xoxo

crippled mind...

2008-10-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

whoa...yesterday was out to midvalley...and today...Malacca...hahaa

caught this Vespa at the Centre Court..

kinda frustrated for not using the hols well for revising.....

if teacher asks: why didnt u study during hols?
me: it the time for me to mengeratkan silaturahim, cikgu...since my frenz are coming back for raya...hahaha
It seems to me that Jonker strt. has become my regular place to shop for tshirts....luv them! bought 2 from this shop called jonker gallery....haha...i would buy more if i hav more cash with me..hahaha...next time then...

weather was scorching hot....went to temple...then lepak around,helped sis to choose presents for her friends...which we didnt make it...and end up havin late lunch in some deserted diner....where i became the mosquitos' lunch instead...sighs.....

bunnies on trishaw

cool chinese art...

if only you guys can see the complexity of those lines

seriously this jade plant is B.I.G.

watched some hokkien show with gramms for 2 hours (kinda like we were given no choice cuz she was the one holding the remote..sighs..).....couldnt even understand a word,and the shows are friggin dramatic,with exaggerating background music....kinda like...just watch the tv screen...and my thoughts were*blank*....hahaha.....

too tired to construct words to type....

PS: that jerk is not coming for the GNO tomorow...A might not make it either....so its back to the 4 of us in Times...hahaha.....

H~E~L~P~

2008-09-30T22:35:00.000+08:00

oh my.....stuck between 2 parties...for the upcoming GNO....stupid miscommunication.....now i hav to deal with those 2 just to hope that i could reach a win-win situation....

finally bake the melon seeds bread....which i figure the recipe outta my own....

glad they came out as i imagined, the seeds are found inside the bread and on top of the crust...phew.....taste gd too....(too bad shawn,cant let you try...by the time it reaches ur mouth...they're already grown generations of fungi...haha)

studied bit of chemistry...needa restart my memories on the previous chapters..hahaha....well...i could do the question from the books but it is the exam questions that i'm concerned.....sighs

played the piano until i forgot my lunch, still cant support that balance in Schubert's Impromptu, need supreme control of fingers and wrist to reach that thin paradox texture,ARGH!! my piano technique is gettin worse day by day....OMG NO!!!!!!!!

....the whole day my chest felt like pressured....couldnt breathe much....which eventually lost my appetite..haha...

what have i done so far in this holiday...read...piano...hangout....tv.....sleep....online......
gotta reshuffle my schedule...and discipline myself....argh!

i want huggies....

XOXO

GNO-SNWY-092908

2008-09-29T21:10:00.000+08:00

sighs...felt that rush of guilt....for not revising....and exam is creeping closer to me....OMG

then hav to settle everything...bio projects....work....my life...hahaha...crappy life...be glad u're not me...hahaha

GNO today was okay ...D with her shockin pink outfit...gave me that instant jerk.. seriously that gal can really shock you with her wardrobe...beware if u're goin out with her...

all the ATM machines malfunctioned...so we all couldnt do much at sunway...window shoppin at the accessories stores....cute toys....bags....spend our last bucks at the archade...at least i getta chance to relief myself from stress.....with THE HOUSE OF DEAD 4...hahaha....shotting zombies ...hahaha kinda fun....gonna play them next time...*addicted*

just that N got bit frightened....and i was like :" reload...shoot...reload...shoot....reload...shoot" you dont really see any expression on my face...

"you were so serious la babe" thats what they said....well...i'm enjoying the game...hahaha.....

later when we passed by sony......then i laughed at a gamescene from silent hill...*swt*

then we shopped for flipflops....D bought one....that i chose for her....haha....gosh i felt like buyin another pair..hahaha.....then we take-away some takoyaki for buka puasa later....

checked out the mickey mouse mp3 at inQbox....kewl stuffs over that place...hahaha

oh finally there's yokomon ice cream at sunway's asian avenue, besides from The Curve in MutiaraDamansara and that Agefuku restaurant at Taipan...too bad we all puasa....cant eat...its okay....next time then..hahaha...cant resist icecream....hahaha

http://www.kenjul.com/Yokomon/index.htm

then we discuss bout how to help D get rid of that obssessive+possessive jerk......and the plan will be executed on this friday...so for those who wanna catch up with the news....keep ur mouse/pointer close to the link to my blog hahahhaahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa

another summary.....hahaha

2008-09-18T23:14:00.000+08:00

THURSDAY (TODAY)

bio experiment....totally tormenting....a test of patience...hav to make sure the solution is evenly stirred, while keeping the water bath temperature constant....then the timing must be acurate...OMG...MQ forgot that when she was boiling her specimen....we practically used up the 4 periods + recess for this experiment, which we dont even get to finish....sighs....enzymatic reaction...it'll take u forever to test the time for temperature such as 0' and 65' where the enzymes are supposed to be inactive or D.E.A.D......

math was bit confusing, tcher didnt like the textbook's explanation on chap6....so she made up her own notes and questions......

one thing i learn from taking those vintage school bus....keep ur eyes n ears closed....
1. the bus really really HONKS...
2. u cant really move up the windows and the typical city roads with dust flying around...and crash into ur eyes....

no mood for lunch...read the book that i bought few weeks ago....took a nap...when i woke up, it was already 7....dinner time...at least mom cooked smth proper....unlike my sis...who only cooked rice.....cant blame me, i'm too tired to cook extra stuff for lunch...hahaha XD

WEDNESDAY

first thing in the morn..... mom shaked me up, "hey....ur aunt is here....to use the internet....set up for her......" luckily my internet is automated......so i just hav to switch on the comp and let my aunt use the net.....my house is technically her CC....cant help it....she moved in to bangsar to stay at her in-laws...for staying in her puchong condo was kinda hassle for her work....and taking care of her boys...

then i remembered it was my sis's bday....so i made .......
chocolate chip pancakes...voila!

kinda envied her....she has her friends around to celebrate her bday......mine was......*dried leaves flying over*crickets and crows*

she came back from her bday lunch from PizzaUno...with bday cake from Berry's, which we all tried the cake......hmm...weird.....doesnt seemed to fit her.....chocolate cheesecake........she doesnt eat cheesecake....
so i asked her bout the cake and she said : its chocolate cake....
(me: oh my she just got cheated by her friends....hahaha.......)

she spent the whole afternoon investigating the true flavour of her cake, only to realize that her friends half-ly lied to her bout the cake...hahaha

TUESDAY

one word : sleepy.....

i practically hav no idea what happened......

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

exhausted...

2008-09-13T00:34:00.000+08:00

my favourite day...friday...haha
class was okay....bio teacher was cool.....played charade during english class...at least no homework given.....math....as usual pain in the @$$.....teacher's attitude....incredibly terrible....

then it was the science and math activity....sad thing is the lower form members are not joining....it'll be more fun with Sam...hahaha....my another bully target..hahahaa
t'day we were handling the 'science garden' which has been abandoned and almost forgotten...
and despite the scorching weather made FaiFai work under umbrella, me got biten by the whole colony of mosquitoes.....and the rest keep on sweating...we managed to clear the site,keep on teasing each other ....haha.....and walked to Amcorp mall...which my last visit to that place was few years back....things have not changed much....still the same boring place.....

eventually the guys were hoping to get seeds from the hypermarket..yet we couldnt.....after walking/'lepaking' all over the floors ... no sign of gardening supply store.....but we managed to buy few gardening tools.....phew...
we end up hanging at McD for fries and ice cream.....Popular bookstore where Vic bought test pad.....ZH n i even went to the organic supplies to see whther they sell seeds.....sighs....he even tried to call his mom's friend to get the seeds but didnt work out.....

our last choice was : PJ old town ( me: no idea where that place is...)
Vic n Andrew finally got the seeds we wanted.....long beans ( though the packet says 'bush beans' and the pic looks more to french beans..) and okra...ZH n Vic reconstructed the planting rack..
as usual ZH took his refuge in the chinese orchestra room, a place so-called banned for non-members....so not kewl..hahah......

the whole time i was struck by fatigue...struggle use all the energy i hav in my body...should hav take lunch and drink more water....
waited for bus from 4.30-5.12.....the sun was still hot...and there was this spilled food...and stinks...luckily when i got on the bus, there were few seats....dont hav to stand...(yay!)
but dropped off and walked few km home....without water.....
by the time i stepped into the hse, was really glad i'm home...can rest...take shower...dinner....sleep...hallelujah..hhahaa

N is back....think we can hav puasa n buka together tmr....? we'll see bout that...
xoxo

weird wednesday

2008-09-11T00:20:00.000+08:00

"hey chingsin, how many boyfriends you had?" my classmate, joey popped this question when we were doing graph homework....

First thing that popped in my mind : OMG what made her thought so?Was it because i was playing around with the guys during the video seminar yesterday? Do i look like the kind of person who gets to hook up with sumone...oh my......she overestimated me...

"well....dont be surprise, i got none...." at the same time, i was thinking about my childhood sweetheart, my senior who had a crush on me( we're still friends now..), then surprisingly, my heart pondered and i was missing A.....
Maybe since he seldom text me nowadays since my internet is fixed but we didnt IM much either......what to do, he's in college and i'm in F6.....not easy to synchronise our time.....he has his own stuff to do and who am i to interrupt him anyway...we're just friends....i guess....haha...

afternoon nap from 5-7 is kinda like a regular thing to do, and still...i cant do anything much bout my math.....haha....exams creeping closer.....Oct16th-23rd....oh no....must study seriously....haha

talked to mom bout continuing piano course, like.....self-practice...then after STPM ....then seek assessment from teacher and head for exam...sighs....timing probs...if only i didnt fail my grade8 that time, mayb i'm already done like yuenyuen now.....

dad's leaving in Oct...not sure when but soon..haha

hopefully can hav a meet up D,N,S,.........and A too...IF he has time for me..haha

xoxo

what happened within 3days ...?

2008-09-07T23:08:00.000+08:00

TODAY
sighs.....bit lazy after holidays..i mean in work....haha...wore my new jeans and shirt to work,got a new student...oh my she's such a delightful student...talented and hardworking one.....
The name is Samantha Lee...she's 9 and currently learning violin(grd3) and just started piano with ME!!!!! she's doing ballet as well...omg...how can she handle all that...and you cant sense any stress from her, interest probably..hahaha...hope she can really maintain that for the coming years, when the pressure of UPSR will emerge..hahaha......really looking forward to teach her....want to discover her talent....(oh my, i'm speakin as if i'm a maestro...hahaha)

they delayed my paycheck...AGAIN....whats wrong with them....? sighs.....gotta lock my wallet...haha

ohoh...forgot to take a photo of my cheesecake...its oreo cheesecake,just like S.R's...but not really sweet.....but at least the gelatine worked...my cake didnt melt as quick as before..haha... (me: sry ZH cant let u eat it )

stopped by MPH today...tempted to buy a really really classic journal...kinda pickin up D's habit of writing journal, mayb feelin all moody makes me do that...so i could curb that feeling of missin her...damn...but then....checkin the price of that journal and thinking of my overdue paycheck....i turned to a notebook with mahogany prints on the cover...with a friendlier price...haha mayb i'll check out subang parade since they got more and better items...MPH summit is just too limited..haha

didnt fast today...cant do it with mom around the house...and check whether i take my meals or not, as told by my doc to prevent myself gettin gastric again...sighs...mayb i'll do on weekends...
speaking of that....N's coming back this friday....and planned to buka puasa together..if she's back early...we might hav a trip to all the bazaar in USJ hahahaha.......

YESTERDAY
replacing schooling day on saturday is never going to be fun as everyone came to school with doozy eyes and wandering thoughts.....
math teacher didnt teach....she's lazy i guess...well teachers are human too you noe...
bio was about the end-year assignments...2 major and 2 minors....all about hunting insects and plants and preserve them ... why cant we get bigger animals..... :X
pengajian am....kinda felt bad for the teacher....the topic are just too mundane...i slept for like 5 minutes....sighs....
chemistry teacher.....she's sooooooo dedicated to teach...mayb she's rushing to finish the syllabus...and kept on saying that my class is laggin back than the other 2 class...ohmy....sighs....i sense lots of extra class in the coming weeks...

checked the exam result and class position...i got 10th....man...without studying....and my GPA....sooooooooooo aweful.......sighs.......

THE DAY BEFORE
i luv fridays....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the horoscope section today says that i will hav luck with me...hmm...should i believe it..haha
classes today ... quite okay..noth much to comment...except the homeworks...haha

science and math club are having installation and after-party....too bad the afternoon session are rushing to class...they missed out the after-party...instead they hav to stay for the installation....boring..haha
food was fine...school food , what to expect..but we ordered dominos too..haha...ZH cooked again....urm...his signature tomyum mihun...with a new creation....tomyum kari which we named it "tori", cute name that sounds japanese...haha....too bad i was fasting and the teacher who was supposed to join us.....were in the lab and forgot to come....i spent my time chattin, taking photos with ZH cousin's canon DSL...being the only gal in a group of guys listening to dirty jokes.....teamed up with unknown ppl to tease ZH....(sorry la dude, being my pet brother, you hav to be bullied all time...dont blame me, you asked for it.. :P) then i left with a big box of ZH's mihun in my bag.....

the weather wasnt looking gd..and when i almost reached the bus stand.... i missed my bus....U67 flashed away in front of me....sighs....then i waited and chatted with HG for a while until he's gone with metro13....i was alone again...until i saw miracle......U67 came again....which normally would take around 50 minutes...but this time was less than 20...wow.....the horoscope section worked sumtimes...
then as i was paying for my fare...the uncle gave me my ticket while saying this to me :

" oh nak baru habis sekolah ye? balik rumah nanti, mandi dan rehat cukup-cukup ye, nanti makan kenyang-kenyang tau...?"

I was really shocked to hear that....that pakcik was so nice....then i look at him,hmm...never seen him in all the U67 buses before...mayb he just changed from another bus.....wow....all in sudden, felt kinda happy besides from being tired.....see the magic from being caring...u'll delight one's heart and carve a smile on his/her face ... well...i kinda observed the pakcik...ohmy he didnt get angry at ppl....so nice....usually sum drivers are mean....so kudos to the pakcik....may god bless you for your kindness....
mayb its ramadhan, ... mayb.....

Shadowed by resent or just wasted...?

2008-09-04T00:12:00.000+08:00

wow...cant believe how different my life has become since the last post of my blog....i mean there were so much positivity channeled which mould into hopes, as i promised myself that i can pick myself up from being wrecked...but then found myself drowning deeper into the abyss.....

maybe mom's right...I've been in denial ever since the turning point of my life, after form5, after SPM...
cant help to wander away from reality, living in my own memories where everything was not how it is now, friends, social network, my mental state, emotions.....
flash backs of school life with D n N, where we used to sit in the abandoned room next to the girls toilet, no one even the teachers, ever bother bout it and left it unlocked...so we made it as our host club room...as we spent our days during SPM exams, away from the people, in our own little hideout, listening to D's iPod, helping N to get through her Add Math paper in the last minute...took our nap for the afternoon papers.....

all of them so clear, as if it just happened yesterday but to find myself blended into my own fantasies and *pwooff* you're back to reality....

R's mom came for a visit....told me how he's doing in penang...said that he's doing okay...moved on though it was a rough start...but then...has she ever know what R told me? whatever she's been told was to make her feel alright and not to worry bout him, well..compare myself to him, yea he might be better than me now...at least he chose and decided to take that journey, i wasnt....haha

bout A, what can i do 'bout him? he came into my life at the time when i needed someone,he did made me feel better from emptiness that haunts me,just as thing might change for good, i realize that he has his obligation and there's no way he could be there for me, though he said he would, I'll just consider it as a polite way of saying that you cant really make it...
still, words are not the one controlling this time, actions do. Secretly ( not anymore, since i'm posting this in public, but that was what i felt....) it delights my heart to receive his texts almost everyday,even though it started with the same greeting :" how are you today" or sumtimes he'll say that he missed me or just wanna talk.....
*sighs*

How many times I've been disenchanted by those stupid promises and lies made by the people around me, mom and dad, friends...Was I asking too much from them? Cant i deserve to be dependent for a moment...

"why are you stopping yourself from achieving what you want..? what is the thing that holds you back...?" GT was right about it,though i didnt answer his question...i didn't discuss this to anyone, never.But one simple conversation with GT few days ago, and he could see it.....even though it was about something else but he did see the main point. Fear. The fear that intertwined and tangled in my soul, the fear that has absorbed into every part of me...appalled of reliving the nightmares of my life, some might consider it as an exaggeration but no one understands why i see it as my nightmare....Imagine u're stuck with a community of people where you cant really blend in, only when you're not being who you are, then u're accepted, the time when you are pushed away, neglected and rejected for being yourself, and it seems to me that i'm heading into that direction again....

probably i'm too stubborn, but there's no reason why for me to change and not being who i am, why cant the people just accept the fact that my culture and lifestyle are different than theirs, worst thing is, not even my family understand who i am as a person, others have told them that i'm very different. For all my life i've been told bout my 'difference' and compared to others, sometimes it brought them surprises as how stereotype plays it role in judgement, for instance being mislabeled as a 'banana' (not the fruit...).

during my 'new' life, i've met some whom i might consider worth to befriend with, but how true my instincts can be..there are times when i really hoped i could hangout with people besides my family, though i'm considered lucky to get to hangout....maybe just the wrong timing...

Ramadhan has arrive....i've been trying to fast as long as i could, even though D and N are going to kill me for this....at least right now, i can feel as if they are here with me, sharing the same feeling....today it last for 12 hours...wonder how the girls are doing now...really miss them....hopefully they're safe and fine, especially during Ramadhan and their health condition worries me all time....*sighs* moga mereka diberkati Allah dan diberi kekuatan untuk mengharungi dugaan hidup....
oh my i sounded like a muslim....ha ha.....

gotta hit the sack....selamat berpuasa dan berbuka... *who wants to go to bazaar with me..?*

xoxo

over-reactive blast of positivity!

2008-06-05T23:37:00.000+08:00

finally got the right mood to post this blog....happy enough to share news....blablabla

naz picked me up from my house, then we head straight to puchong since diyana n syaz didnt get the bus.....which we end up searching for them due to miscommunication of position reporting...from the IOI mall to gas station...

finally~after subscribing to our human "gps" - syaz the dude.....we started off great, just that naz made a wrong turn into damasara jaya.....then after few consultation from frenz and family, we're back in high road to 1 Utama mall....

realizing that no1 had lunch, some even missed breakfast....we all raid into McD and fill up our stomach with half quart of ketchup+chili sauce, then the burgers and cokes....

its my maiden trip to the photobooth....realized that my understanding in romanji, kanji, katakana....needs a boost ... cuz the operating language is in japanese....so the four of us played guessing throughout the session....and managed to get the photos done fabulously...YAY...

*due to size of the photos, they are not available to be scanned n shown...*

and then, its game time....arcades and bowling...

most of our tokens spent on the drum booth....which my palms are now having blisters and i hav a piano exam in just few days...damn...but really fun cuz one of the selected songs is beethoven's symphony no.5, hahaha

once again, my bowling skills are not improving at all! i'm the one with the lowest scores....mayb more practice will do...

on the way home, we jumped into the car and start our own kareoke, we just dont care....screaming high notes and pressing out voicebox for the low keys...hahaha...lost 56% of my original voice.....but its worth the fun because everyone is gonna be seperated again, not even knowing when we can do this meet-up....

FRIENDS FOREVER?? we'll see bout that....

clouded mind and soul...someone free me please

2008-05-31T00:53:00.000+08:00

Finally dad agreed to bring us to the bank, (not robbery....) to switch individualize me and my sis account, cuz it was my dad o/b me... *o/b=on behalf*
then got my ATM card done on the spot which i should hav dont that earlier, and i dont have to sighs bout my book-shopping failure.
YES, i failed...bought only 2 (two) books, namely inkspell and marley and me....
but its ok, i'm gonna ask my sis to checkout the scholastic book offers.....so i can buy books like how i did last year.. around 8 books from scholastic, 4books from payless, others from major bookstores...
what can i say? i buy books like how women buy shoes - there's never gonna be enough...

for some reason, i kinda using this friend of mine to ease my sorrow feeling, as one of my BFF gone to penang. i treat this friend the way i treat my BFF....but turned out to be flirting( i guess ), which i'm playing with fire now....*ok, if u dont understand, leave this passage alone and scroll down to the next one*

ATCL exam is creeping closer....which such a coincidence that my family planned a trip to Cherating (woohoo, the beach, hot surfers?!, the ocean.....) so i can find that sort of aura to perform at my best....

DIYANA, PLEASE AT LEAST REPLY MY SMS/IM/EMAIL....miss you lot, or u can post comments here, love....

Mashed up!

2008-05-06T17:09:00.000+08:00

exactly 2 months later.......after the last blog posted....
yup this is the day when i'm officially

legal to walk into cinema to watch any ( and i mean any ) movies i want.........
no longer eligible to enjoy student discount ( unless i hav my student ID )......
allowed to drink in public ( wait a minute, i already did that few years ago...XD)
have two more years to enjoy having tens in my age number....
have to act mature ( which i already have the "look" but the thinking ...XD)

well checked my mailbox today, only greetings from websites i joined, not even a single ecard~~sighs

last year, on this exact day, i celebrate and mourn at the same time....quite awkward.......somehow i was in a wreck, emotionally.Diyana was the first to know it.....really appreciate it as she kept it among us, 'cos i dont want any hypocritical condolences and sympathies from everyone else.

This morning was a war between my brain coordination against serotonin(a hormone which makes you do nothing..), luckily my appetite gave me strength to combat as my back try to gain force against gravitational force, and YES i finally woke up and put my feet on the floor.

Later, i busy myself with laundry and dish washing,so i can be prepared to make pancakes, YAY.

*no, i dont use the premixed one, these pancakes are made from scratch...LOL*

then i realize i need to restock my utensils since mom threw away the old ones for being rusted,sighs...but at least my pancakes are well made...hahaha

who ever wants some or the recipe, IM me or leave a message...

June9th will be my exam day...aiya still nervous.....

mom and dad still not tired of asking me to go for the government study thingy...like i'm gonna be selected.....then the form6 thing.......annoying stuff....which means i have to go through malaysian-style of education........NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

who ever read this, DONT YOU EVER DARE TO ASK MY BOUT MY STUDY PLAN OR ELSE...YOU SHALL PAY FOR IT......

let it go and be free from stereotyped community....or .........................?

2008-03-06T22:05:00.000+08:00

SUNBURST KL FESTIVAL................BE A NICE PERSON AND BUYME THE TICKETS TO SEE THEM LIVE...............BWAHAHAHAHA

yea i know the way i play the piano..............just lifeless...........nothing.
but doesnt mean that i hav to play like someone else..........
hate it when i hav to play as if i'm a marionnette.....no dont play like this...dont do like that.........
maybe thats the way it should be but i just dont seemed to enjoy, only when i play the songs outside my exam pieces.....and thats why i hate to practise..........

yea u can say what u want but i'm not gonna believe it when u say that i'm actually good....blablabla..........i know what i am....so dont try to cheer me up with all those white lies and its not even a deed if u do so........

i slept on my piano today.....cant blame the piano but me....the useless pianist....for being jerk to humiliate her own piano...

what a bad class today...i'm hitting the sack.........thanks for reading this piece of crap!

Agony, physically or mentally??

2008-02-26T10:22:00.000+08:00

not long ago, the injected anaesthetics slowly conquered my mouth, gaining their teritory by casting an annoying numb spell on me. painless but emotionally shaken, it was hard to say goodbye to edward and john, the teeth which already scheduled for extraction today.

john already had caries in it but edward was the innocent one, all he need was a floss but he had no power to change his fate. john gave up easily, he was extracted with no hassle. edward was otherwise, he struggled, holding on ( my gum actually ), though he knew that he's the only one should be extracted, not edward, not the other 2 brothers on the other side. still, john helplessly watch himself slowly pulled away from his home ( my gum), as they were bathed in blood afterwards.

thankfully i was allowed to keep them. watching part of me in a paper cup, with blood, not much, was kind of . 2 down, 2 more to go next week. javier and maxwell have at least a week to stay but they cant escape the fate that landed on their brothers. i showed john and edward to dad when he picked me up. shockingly i could only see john lying in the cup of loneliness, how could i dropped edward out from the cup? the question got over my head till now, guilt and sorrow rushed within my soul ( and i'm not exagerating, just felt sad and mad bout myself). i wanted to ask dad to go back to the clinic and retreat ed back. but now i'm stuck in his office, writing this pathetic blog and wait as if ed will walk back to me.......thats it, i'm going back to look for ed, no matter how hard its gonna be.

Flashbax

2007-10-21T02:14:00.000+08:00

Went back to K.Selangor, got my glasses fixed...dad went to workshop to fix his car.. so i had to crashed at a friend's place......without even informing them bout my arrival....

Ppl there are so different......their laidback but carefree lifestyles without worries of crime.

Shop owners can start work anytime......who cares? some still sleeping at 9 am, mayb its not their prime time yet....its a place where monkeys will come to invade your house, steal food and poop around....yux but we got no choice cuz they lived nearby....

met some old family friend........Uncle Lee, the gas supplier/bus driver, is now driving a bigger bus, bet his business getting better...haha...UncleLim ( guess he's a contractor..) still the same, why is that my dad cant be like him? at least control his weight like his friend would be good.....

Zhenwei, a friend who lives behind my old house, didnt expect me..can see that from her dropping jaw...her parents are going out to town and she had to be home with her schoolmate....their currently repaint the whole house..

* finally they are going to do something! and i saw them bought some doorknobs....good for them.. at least they dont havto use a fork and poke the door to open it....*

we kept on chatting...bout the times in elementaryschool, getting my memory back, start trying to recognise some old mates.....she talked about "THAT GUY", felt bit sour inside......and it all went until dad came and got home....

cant stop myself from giving advice on his attire to his cousin's wedding....

last day of chinese tuition......still hav to keep some ppl's certs.....

tired......

sad that Man.city got higher in EPL......but the devil is not gonna let them go like that........they are gonna pay for this.......XD

studied history.....

malaysian education system is not designed to survive......hate it

checked my exam schedule....

Live n Loud KL gig is just before my last exam...chinese...

Now i hav to figure a way to convince mom n dad to let me go an watch that gig...

James Morisson and his guitar....i'm not gonna miss it....not this time!!!!

SOMEONE PLEASE OFFER ME.....A CHAPERONE....

NO IDEA

2007-10-19T01:05:00.000+08:00

finally got my piano tuned after 18 months..

my Kawai sounded a lil sharper with higher frequency n amplitude ( sorry for putting physics in) got a lil' dizzy listenin to the sounds..but its alright, i'll get used to it

mr.kok, the tuner was kinda admiring my piano..saying that he( my piano) is quite valuable , can sell at high price to everywhere since the quality of wood in recent dropping, so pianos with excellent wood are quite treasure...hehe....

nope i'm not gonna sell my baby to anyone.....

today's class was more constructive...

even though my mind was a lil hangin out, but my fingers (somehow) hav minds of their own to play the songs, felt like my body n mind seperated................kinda getting to pro stage..hehe

in less than 3 weeks, the big exam is gonna haunt everyone....

cant help to stare at the ceiling, thinking of my future..carrier...life?

can i afford my plan?

am i gonna live as how i imagined myself supposed to after 20 years?

there's gotta be more to life, i guess

JAMES MORISSON IS COMING TO MALAYSIA, TO PERFORM!!!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!

HE'S TOO CUTE TO RESIST ANYWAY....

NOV 29 2007...SOME1 BE MY CHAPERONE....I WANNA SEE HIM PERFORM....

WHY IS THAT WHEN I GOT SUPREME CRISIS IN THAT PARTICULAR YEAR, LOTS OF HAPPENINGS WILL COME ALONG AS WELL???

HATE IT.....

Parabolic psychology evolution

2007-10-16T00:19:00.000+08:00

finally got to watch Cinta...really made me cry...the part when a sister donate her organ to her bro and died on the surgery stage...and her poem she used to calm her brother whenever he's afraid.. if i'm not mistaken this is how it goes...

" adik jangan la takut,
kerana kakak ada lilin.
adik tutup la mata,
kerana kakak akan menjaga...."

i wanted to sign up be an organ donor, i'm not afraid of the consequences... but still i wonder, how would my family feel if that happens to me, like i'm donating my organ and in the end donate my life out....

read a book, took me 5 hours to finish. "The trouble with Valentine's day" by RachelGibson....sexy story....not too dramatic....still one thing i hate bout reading romance story....makes me felt that i need some extra love life, besides my family and piano....
seriously i'm still afraid to commit...even for a easy spoilt puppy lurve....either i'm not ready for it or i AM afraid to achieve it.

the other day Diyana gave me some test, particularly on your love thing...like how many dates you'll go before the wedding, what kind of person you are in romance...

the verdict
1. i'm gonna hav 5 dates before the wedding bell rings
2. i'm the kind of person with lots of love tactics and eventually an enemy of everyone ( in this subject of love..)

well tell me bout what you think..

Raya was boring...
went back to Grandm's. always love the architecture..nostalgia..
apparently stucked with 5 pretty young boys behaving like banshees...
found that life is kinda bored even you have the bacis channels in Astro cable tv....
Watched some documentary bout chocolates on Travel and Living....yummy
missed the joy of balik kampung...
grandpa is going for laser surgery on wednesday, hope he'll be fine, he's still working...cant help it i guess..or else what can he do to past time? he already bought a mowner, the type which the guys use it to cut grass at sidewalk....wished i could learn some carpentry or some mozaic thingy......he's famous of that....

studied and hav no idea of SPM....got 28th in class....am i that stupid? i started to doubt my abilities since the society has been worshiping the power of academic achievements.....
hate to be stereotyped....just another way to make life duller with shades of grey....thats not what real life is...
felt like moving outta here, outta this ridiculus place, where dreams are crushed n buried, injecting vaccines to counter creativity, especially liveliness....

should i force myself to get good grades and follow the current? squeezing my way to something i hav no idea of, practically less adventurous, i guess....

Jaysean is comingto malaysia.... to Zouk KL.,..... am i gonna meet him? no....who's gonna bring me there anyway.....

happy raya anyways.

happy day for a sorrow soul...

2007-10-06T23:59:00.001+08:00

ManUtd 4 vs. Wigan 0 YAY!!!!!!!!!
my boys did it again.....C.ronaldo, Rooney ( hey diyana, did your mom watch the game?), and Tevez...
though i only watched first half....missed lots of fun then.....should hav stayed longer at the restaurant...

my family apparently lepak-ed at 7-11....for no reason.....all of us tried to figure out any thing ( unnessesarily) to buy, mom was: hey u liked this soy milk right? buy la....
dad was about to gimme few RMs, my sis were browsing the chocolate bars.....bro got an icecream.....

studied Bio today.....found that i forgot frenz Bday, i think i sent them ecards, that'll at least recover some..XD

as usual, watch " one litre of tears", a japanese true story based drama......bout this girl, Aya got some rare nerve disease, she's on her way to be fully disable with muscle failure, she will not be able to work any of them soon....
todays about Aya graduating from school, attended her teacher's wedding, and sad thing...she's breaking up with Aso, her BF ( smitherin' handsome...). she thought that Aso deserved better, why is it that ppl always giving up ppl who really cared bout them? cant wait to watch the next episode.
this drama kinda gave me the "umph" to regain my strength to achieve my dreams, seriously its useless to tell u guys the story, u've gotta watch it!

XOXO

Mashed up!

2007-10-05T01:16:00.000+08:00

tired+leaning on my piano..
EMO-rage
(diyana, if u're reading this, lets form a black tanktop clan.......homage to ur Reita....)
hey i made this myself, any intersted to order from me? all organic.....
devil~
interview at taylors sux.......i gave my answers like a drunk woman............guess so.

kinda afraid of time, nearing to SPM, my dreams........am i capable to reach for it?

today's Bio class stopped half way cuz the electricity go haywire......we stoppedat he BOD thingy, everyone was "excited" cuz the BOD in the class was boosting up after the aircond breakdown....
besides replacement time, how to identify ur shoes in that dark staircase was also a concern

everyone got home early, but me, kuenyee n hsushien went to Tanjung since it was dark at the shoplot.....the guys were kind enuff to walk us across the streets, only. felt that i really need cellphone that moment, dont have to trouble my frenz.....

it was fun hangin' around, ignoring that awful smell from a fresh market......that whole block was partially indians, not being racist here FYI.

now i can reallly admit that my creativity works optimumly at night on my bed with my pilllow cushioning my head. thats when i can figure out ideas to write, probably affected by the moonlight........lunar power....?

thought of some seniors like bernice and esther. they're my good frenz and mentors......one is supremely smart and another is deviant-ly jolly.......

my performance

my worries lie on history, bio, moral, physics, a lil on add math......gotta work on them...make it work.....

wished i could be as hardworking as my sis, not lazy, sleepy, dorky.....

i might sound lame...but u cant deny that its been a snap all these time. i mean i'm form5!! used to imagine myself being a lil nerd, holding books around talking bout biology stuff..... and how we expect the next world cup would be. there it goes, FIFA 2006 was over. now it frix me up thinking of the next FIFA, then we're gonna be 20!!! the distance between that age is far but somehow the speed will make us unaware of it....aging......hah

are we gonna retain that special friendship? or just put in your photograph and claim it as highschool friendship where it ends right there? or tear it apart and go two ways?

xoxo

State of mind.......

2007-09-25T00:04:00.000+08:00

why i want to be a prefect?
why basketball and man utd?

someone did that on me. its b'cos of him, i started to get myself into those stuff...... mayb thats the only way i can get over my guilt to him. during my year in elementary school, some baggar teacher elected a librarian as the neck prefect. ( vice of head prefect ma, why neck? because neck is the next thing after head...XD) i wasnt satisfied and teacher would want to accept my opinion, instead, she kept on convincing me to stay. i mean, its not that i want that pose and got angry of it, no one really givadamn bout it, dont they understand that they themselves deserve that post better than that librarian? so what? juz bcos she's another top student and friggin obedient one? doesnt mean you can take over that post.....
and so i threaten the teacher right infront of everyone, yes EVERYONE, loud and clear, that if you dont kick her out, then its me. there was only 2 person try to put some advice, including HIM.... mayb i'm used to be very frank and kinda abuse him sometimes, i replied in a very harsh way, and he just turn away. i i knew he felt bad for me but my ego stopped me from talking to him. he then became one of the pathetic ppl and we only talked whenever he needs homework to copy, or playin in the court. soon later i hurt him more..... and didnt tell him how i felt bout him before i came here to subang jaya, he didnt wanna talk to me either. i tried. i went to his house and took some photo with his cute lil' sis, but he just locked himself in his room....

before then, i got to know that he likes ManU and basketball. he even made his keychain ( KH project, ask me if you wanna know bout it more) with the initials of the club. i joined the basketball club just bcos of him. thats why i felt mixed up when i play, it'll remind me of my first shot under his coaching....how much i wished he could be proud of me and talk to me again.....but it also broke his right arm and he had to stop his taekwondo at brown belt. that was in 2001. he just smiled at me and tried to say that its alright and stuff......

for those who wanna ask me those question on top, that's my answers, him. mayb i'm just trying to do what he wished me to do in the past......

OMG why am i talking bout this........

today i found my rival. that guy scored one mark higher than me in chinese paper1 ( the one with essay gua) should have done nicely and maintain my standards.......bahagianA should get 25 mah......then add 61 from essay = 86/100.......
thanks to those " friendly, respectful" classmates of amiga, with their disruption and noise, i got only 63/100 for pemahaman paper of chinese........then i only for 73 in total.......
gave teacher salma and diyana mooncake each....hope they like it.......
somehow felt like get that job offer and find another one also............
at least i get 1.2k from the offered one, mayb around 800 from other job...hehehe...i'll be richer that u guys.........for starting salary la........

My guardian devil took day off!

2007-09-18T00:40:00.001+08:00

See what happened to me? Dont know how but i fell and hurt my knee. then i had to wipe off those ozzing blood before i scare any teacher and make them faint. thankfully my sis brought her tissue and got to do it before enter the gate.
just few minutes after scanned my card, lines of blood along my calf, oh great, found Waiyee and end up in BBI.
Despite the school's down maintainance of medical support, we found dettol and got my wound cleaned.
but then during exam, the plaster cant hold much more blood ( or the blood plasma i think), i decided to throw away them and wash the wound again...well at least i didnt fracture any bones......what am i thinkin'?

math was freakin' weird...easy as they might say....but too much i think.

dad's friend came to giv his son's fullmoon treats....quite happy to meet him again but he was rushing so gotta arrange another meeting next time.

forced myself to eat meat since i need extra protein.....eventually felt like puking, gawd never ever gonna take meat anymore....

oh devil, please make my wound heal faster and leave no scar......

Lost in my mind

2007-09-17T00:45:00.000+08:00

Every sunday comes and goes, just like that.
Watch Pucca when i got up, then clean the floor, lunch, try to study and practise piano, wash the filter catridge, iron the clothes....
felt wrong bout it, should hav done something constructive or something, tried hard to pull myself over, focus for SPM, dang i hate it.

Made popcorns in the traditional way, in the pot instead of microwaveoven. quite nice....
except i can only make a lil' caramel til' they all freezed on the pan, shouldnt hav listen to mom. mayb.....

trials still on but i dont seem to care bout it, mayb cuz of the subjects.
WHY AM I HERE? i could have done better somewhere but not here, now i filled my soul with doubts, what's wrong with me?

seeing how mom put all her hope on me splits me out, felt a lil' burdened but motivated, mayb thats the power of stress, yea before it kills me.

doc said that my blood pressure still loooooooow, below 110, oh great!

watched gol and gincu as usual, there's this guy tries to apologize to his girlfriend by hanging origamis around the rooftop. then he showed her and asked her to open each and every piece of them, said that he wrote all his secrets in the origami and yea, he's forgiven. quite nice, wish that someone can be that honest and sincere to me, instead of being liar.

made my mind of which books to buy from the list i got from the library.
guess what, total of rm120 ....
thats me la.
the way i buy books is how normal women shop for shoes. cant stop myself from buying more....
mayb thats the reason my folks dont bring me to bookstore that often. XD

still figuring what key to transpose the song for diyana....
missed the karipaps from K.Selangor......irreplaceable......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESCf1BaW7yc&NR=1

ALMOST

2007-09-15T00:28:00.000+08:00

almost over....trials.....such a potong steam event of the month.
whats the use of it when everyone can get the access to the questions earlier?

recently i found that i'll have knee jerk whenever i sit n sneezed......kinda hassle cuz i kept on kicing the table.

still lazy to add stuff here.....anyone willing to do the work for me?

dont know why but i'm losing my life goal. probably i didnt get to play basketball...

sometimes i wonder whats gonna be if i'm a guy instead of girl. am i gonna hav a " cunted" look with chick magnet? or a noob or a otaku?
not that i considered going for surgery but i really wanted to know how it feels like being a guy, mayb that fits who i really am, even mom said that i should have be a guy, maybe the Y chromosome mutated last minute, sighs.

well IF i'm a guy, a "cunted" one, i might be a better basketball player than how i am now, a sports noob. i can hav the excuse of buying nike shoes than forcing myself wearing heels ( but failed). i can go to CC or play DotA legally, mess up my room, etc.

then IF i'm not a "cunted" one, damn! gotta work hard to improve....

Farewell dinner

2007-08-26T01:53:00.000+08:00

This is the ribbon we use to decide which group we belong, no its not group pink.

front back
OkOK i'll upload the full outfit, just that the photos are with someone else.

I thought i was gonna be dead soon 'cos i wasnt wearing those unique costumes, Yujing was wearing some kewl chef uniform, Keesing was wearing a shirt with lots of circles....dizzy ones, Barry was smart enuff to sniggle( a word i created, hehe) a lab coat from Pn Alicia.

Ice breaking was pretty tough, not that the ppl are hard to talk to but the activity. Everyone in a group was suppose to put their hands and feet in certain number, like 5 hands 7 feet. gosh it came a round where Barry told me to sit on Luke's back, in the end Luke ended up fell on the floor with 130 lbs on his back, hope he didnt get hurt. oh, Luke was dressing as superbiker, NOT MAT REMPIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!he brought a helmet too, thought he could ride but not.

then after a few games, its my turn to turn everybody's brain upside down with my Ca-Re-Doku. its a modified sudoku with the numbers replaced by names of nine jobs. the only thing i wasnt happy was i took the question from a level one book, and ppl are cracking their head and didnt make use of the hints i provided. probably b'cos i took the 119th question of the book, hmmmmm.......119....

later before we move to the buffet, every group was given a title of a sitcom to perform. my group got " Red Carpet Walk." we were supposed to make full use of every jobs our members represented in the sitcom. so i became the director...."perasan"....

our sitcom was: celebs are going on movie premier, interrupted by a VCD salesman and got killed by a biker.

hahaha with the blessings from my devil....my group won!!!!

it was whole bag of bags. yes bags in a plastic bag. there was 3 sling X-treme ( iguess thats the brand, anyway they are really those branded bags you can get from the mall la) 2 roxy pencil bags, tropicana life caps, and quiksilver pouches. Took us time to decide who gets this who gets that.

another sketch we hav must be accompanied with either bolly or chinese opera songs. this time our sketch was : a wacky monk. we have this "wack"-y monk who goes on wacking ppl who came to ask for his blessings and such, in the end all of them end up unconciuos, but the monk actually successfully seperate a siamese twin with his karate chop...and dance some bangra moves .................hahaha

later there were few games, sounds interesting but i got blurred in the middle, probably it was crowded and i didnt get the instructions right.

right now i hav my own "manquarium" from gillete.com funny huh? what was that suppose to mean? go find it out yourself la.

A summary of an extraordinary week.

2007-08-11T21:59:00.000+08:00

===tuesday===
Finally the retirement ceremony. After times of rehearsal ( and ignorance to the cue calls) ,everything seemed to be fine, until i realized that Dhanu was swinging bext to me and "thump!!!" blacked out!!! fell straight on the floor with her eyes opened....terrified me tho. few of us were tring to help out and escort her to the medic room. I couldnt stop myself from looking at her crying, she must have felt embarresed or its the pain from her head.

We were told to gather at hall A1 after school, thought that probablily we're gived our last talk from the teachers. But the mysterious gestures and expressions from the form fours changed my mind. Yes, gotta be some farewell party. I was pretty overwhelmed to see their preperation, though it wasnt something grand but i was touched by their sincerity. the main course was fish fillets and curry puffs. orange juice as drinks and of course CAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!we tried too hard to sing on stage as most of us didnt know of the lyrics but humming throughout the party. then everyone was given a mug as gifts with autographs from all the formfours. ( now i know why they were busying signing papers.)

another product of "perasan"+ "poser"=me

==wednesday===
OMG FLASHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
damnit!! he did it under the banana tree......................
su-woei,kuen-yee,my sis and I rushed back to my place so that suwoei n kuenyee can call their parents to pick them up ( they stayed at different blocks). that moment mom got home and the flasher happened to pass by my house, scary.....
then came daddy and together with mom, they got freaked out ( i think ), and he called the school principal.
poor su-woei cuz she's been bad in luck recently, must let her " da siu yan" or some lucky charms...

==thursday==
i went to the counsellors office to get my report card for my scholarship application. but she wasnt there and her student members were waiting outside. so me and diyana were on action to save them, by convincing them to allow us to break into the room, without vandalising any object. first we thought our plan failed looking at a faulty panel but after applying extra force, i managed to fix back the panels and let the action begin! Diyana and the students formed a wall to cover me from teachers ( teachers staffroom was next door) while i carefully uninstall the window panels. then jason tien volunteered to climb though the big space of the grill and unlocked the door, YAY~! then the students were bowed on their knees and prepare to serve me n diyana as our slaves. jkjk...
as a token of their gratitude they let me borrow my report card without teacher's permission ( well, she was no where to be seen anyway.)

the fun didnt stop there, i'm happy when mrs.evelyn gave me another A25 for my EST essay.......but my previous one still under construction.hehehe

after school, all the guys who lived in the same area as the victims of flasher do, gave us a VVIP escort back home, wow kewl~~~
picture this, bunch of guys on foot and bikes, surrounded us all the way backhome....wish we could hav this nice treatment from them everyday..
see that? he got new accessory, wrist band.
==friday==
PE today was about netball. the girls received professional training from gym teacher, pn sarinah. especially on how to shoot the ball. " ok stand straight--arms up (hope that no one faint like the rexona girl ) --slight squat--palm posture--jump and shoot!!"
whats more was the poison ball, something like dodgeball and again we had another good time. diyana n i were the last to go change and on our way i discovered something.......a basketball stucked in the drain......WOW!!!!! we played on the court and the best thing was there's only 2 of us.
then the guys gym teacher saw us and told us to keep the stuff in the gym equipment room. we took the path though the canteen and asked some prefects to but us food ( since we have to line up in recess like other students) and put the bball in gym room. also i found a smart card and hopefully the owner would be sensible enuff to claim it back from BBI.
today was the longest time i ever talked to pn teng. she's a great teacher, really. how many teachers would talk to you personally about your weakness in some particular area in add math and offered car pool if you're walking home alone after peak hours? reminds me of my mom tho, mayb all the mid-aged teachers react the same way to students....mayb....
i forgot to call mom to pick me up after school, so i went to the office to borrow phone. i've waited for ages just to get attention from the secretary but she kept on talking to teachers bout job promotion stuff ( i guess). then came my another saviour, tsungwai with his cellphone, i finally got to call mom and went back home, YAY

==saturday==
we got barely food for breakfast! luckily i found some crackers and fill up my tummy. as usual, i cleaned the floor upstairs and took my nap...hehee....and almost late for chinese class, bored but at least i helped hoongyau with his impromptud drawing, i became his temporary model so that he can capture human posture and combine with his artistic flare.
later i accompanied mom to shop in taipan. luckily i remembered to get the polystyrene cup from McDon's and finally tasted chocolate sundae after few years.......weird but true.
we spent hours in the boutiques just to find some nice clothes for mom herself, and i saw a pretty sexy dress, kinda perfect for my functions but quite pricey....mayb i can ask the shop-owner to rent it to me....hehehe
finally when we're lining up to pay for the clothes, mom's BFF called and they couldnt stop talking on the phone, since i was having her handbag, i went on and pay the clothes myself and she's still talking. then we walked back to the car and she finally hung up when i started the car. I'm so not gonna be like her in the future.
back home, i tried again to check whether i'm in the list for National Service, after hundreds of falied attempt due to some server error. the room was filled with anticipation as i waited for every webpage to load, then came the results : No KP anda tidak terdapat dalam senarai yang terpilih.

OMG i still havent finish my 300 word essay for taylors scholarship appilcation. cracked my head to write it, not that i couldnt write but not in the mood..help me, neurons!!!!

Aug 3: Futsal Finals Amiga vs. Cyberlink

2007-08-04T19:20:00.001+08:00

Diyana wasn't feeling well yesterday, diarrhoea i guess. So she went back during PE, poor thing she missed the class and the chance to play basketball too...
During PE, gym teacher Mrs.Sarinah allowed us to go for training, well she joined the game too anyway, it was fun training with a professional than those who only think of winning.

During Addmath, Mrs.Teng talked about her pass of being an introvert and one of her turning points in life. Funny thing was she made octopus-movement and Afiq passed by the class and mimed her as well, lucily she didnt noticed that.
I think I made her angry 'cos I skipped her afterschool class and the time i spent wasnt as productive as i thought ( since she stared at the people downstairs with sort of bad expression, I'm doomed!!)

We the form5 were scheduled at the last looking that there's only 1 field available, so we used the time bucking up skills from our "coach" Russell, hoping that it might be useful during the game.
The games between other forms was really awesome, full throttle of adrenaline into the brain, not forgetting that scorching sun peeling off the skin, making everyone smell like....you know la.....

Finally when its our turn, the sky drizzled but everyone just ignore it, thats the way!!Supposingly i'm playing for second half but no one would cared. Worse is those playing only think of attacking but no defendinga and let the goalkeeper as the solitary defence line. I started to doubt of my gender that moment. why? it seems that girls tend to coagulate in sport games which is different than my playing style. Mom's right, i might be a guy but its gotta be choromosome mutation from XY to XX, no crap here but its true about the mutation. Makes me wonder how would i look like as a guy? Mayb i should save money and go for......may be la...chill guys...

Product of only striking strategy, Amiga lost to Cyberlink, dont blame me for being mean 'cos i think that it served the players well, PADAN MUKA!!!! HAHAHA!!!!!!

At last it's time for the teachers in action, Pn.Teo played too and she's..................ok la.....but she's really good in basketball...ladies teachers tried hard and the gents.....no need to say la..

Then, I joined my sis and her gang playing at the unused field. Two teams playing with 3 goals....hahaha....the extra goal is for both teams, as usual i play keeper and defence, it was way enjoying playing with the juniors than peers. At least they know what they're playing and they have really strong spirit and cooperation. when we tried for penalty goal, i was about to score a beautiful one but slipped and fell on my knees, sideways. that moment i can feel that my blood veins are damaged and broken=contusions. Man sudden stining pain in between my joints and i have to limp to the bench to get some ice to put on. Timothy was there too, he stayed for his Romeo n Juliet drama practise and got some bruises too...hahaha

kinda dissappionting seeing those stupid people on the field and it might be different if they use they brain "sighs".

The Visit

2007-07-30T00:54:00.000+08:00

<<>>
It was the last day of co-curiculum. PBSM as boring as usual, dang its finally over..

Basketball club, always rocks, just that i almost broke my glasses ( again ). Creative Arts Club activity was..........nothing. All of us ( diyana, me, waiyee, roy) sat on the table ( hahaha) and talk and talk and talk.....

Diyana's dad can only fetch her at 5, so i've decided to invite her over my place since mom wasnt at home that time....( hehe)
Everything was extremely perfect, i mean it was vegetarian day so diyana could have lunch at my plave, weather so-so not to hot, mom's absence, my room was tidier than they suppose to be.....:P

For the first time, she's the first who one stayed in my place for the longest hours man! dad made us fried egg, just for us!!! OMG and he actually set up everything for us, kinda felt bad but thankfull to him, dad you rock!
I think it was her first time trying vegetarian stuff like the artificial meat..and we overcome our fears to the sweet potato dessert. mayb it was the pandan leaves that made us to do so.

Say whatever you want but it was a dream come true to hav her at my place. It was exciting sharing the piano and teaching her how to read the notes from the manuscript. Playing the chimes melody, Old Mcdonald ( yea we did ), and showed off our piano skills for couple of hours.
Still, we went to the park with disappointment that we couldnt play basketball cuz mine already burst. but something surprised us, the orange ball was lying soundly on the court--A BASKETBALL!!! AND NO ONE WAS THERE!!!!! OMG LETS PLAY!!!!

yes we ran to the court and started playing. then we heard : " hey someone took our ball!!!"

oh oh, it wasnt a gift from god to us but we're playing people's property, luckily the boys were kind enuff to lend it to us. Guess what, later there were more and more kids came to the court, with their own B-ball!!! WOW this is UNBELIEVABLE!!!

we had a good time practise shooting, splashing the water puddle, clean the ball from dirt, seeing the kids chasing after the ice-cream man....

At least I think she can finally enjoyed her time here, until her dad found her location via GPS ( she forgot to bring her phone when we went out to play ) and brought her back to her place in.......I'm not gonna tell ya or else i'll be KO by her.

That beer is not available in malaysia, tastes better than the local ones.

my spid-dy and his rubgy ball....

REBORN-ed!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-26T21:49:00.000+08:00

weather is warm again!!!!!YAY!!!!!!!!!!

i can take off my blazer and enjoy the wind from the fan!!!!!!

i can walk around without my hands in my pocket...

today all in sudden flashed out this superb idea, i should make a bryan-john look alike pinnata and sell it to ........... EVRERYONE!!!

**sorry bryan if you're reading this but it seems that my future customers are really satisfied with my future pinnata....**

Miracle didnt just happened on me!!! for the first time, diyana and............ ok if i write more bout it, this could be my very last blog....

EST with Mdm Evelyn, promising laughterfor everyone ( maybe...), she blast off humourous hurrican onto everyone with her sarcastic words on us( but we dont care bout it, we just laugh XD....)

my akuma~~pretending to ba ninja....

just made it today!!!

perasan+syok sendiri+poser=me

my sis...

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZED!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-26T21:07:00.000+08:00

==wednesday==

ever since my junior yihui left for vietnam for couple of weeks, i've been strucked by worst of luck.............and agony..............

thanks to the weather the night before, i woke up with icicles hangin from my nose.....hahaha

finally i've executed THE PLAN.... putting multiple layer of clothes

see, i got blazer, jacket, shirt, t-shirt, bra, skin, fatty layer....thats all la!

hahaha

i dont look sick from here but i'm shivering inside

yihui, if you're reading this, its all your fault!!

say whateva you want la, i'm a really sucky poser.....

Diyana thought I look like those japanese high school guys...........gagagahahaha........ lets seee.....my outfit has freaked out mr. shahril, mr. thanabalan, arnold, sean, carol, eunice, ......
i wore this for the wholeday in school.........could answer any test questions, worst to come, i got my AMT and i can barely think of any equations in my brain....!!!

BAD MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-23T23:28:00.000+08:00

can someone make me this mouth watering chocolate crepe?

It rained for the whole Sunday, which has made USJ colder than usual.

Thanks for the trip back to Kuala Selangor on Saturday, I got FEVER!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!

For the whole day i've been wearing sweaters, long pants, my football sox...got myself fully covered...

and today........
I think i've used up a box of tissue, hate it when those "slime" slipping out from my nose and it was really hard to stay without wiping it off. My hands got more germs today...hehehe so whoever or whatever i touched is already...............hehehe
I've broke my record of wearing my blazer for the whole day, still i'm shivering inside.....where's my somtham soup and steamboat???

Diyana was late to school today, thought she wouldnt come. somehow she gotta scan her student ID card even though she's late. ( got it, diyana?)

YAY i got another reward - mint rolls, from guessing the lunar chart ( neopets game!)

My lips are on fire and they started to chap AGAIN!!!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!
ADD MATH and MALAY tomorrow..wish me luck!
somehow i felt that living here is good to enjoy life but as for what i need now.......nah!
oh gawd can someone put off the chaps on my lips, friggin' annoying!!!!!!!!! mayb i should try lip transplant, anyone willing to donate?

Elo......

2007-07-20T22:18:00.000+08:00

Its raining outside.
my gum still aching.
Skipped recess the entire week! and yes i didnt eat that time...so what? i've been eating oatmeals and ribena..........

Dad made me some ginseng water, dont ask me but he just take the small strands of ginseng and boil them in hot water. supposed to be gramms formula......
Played the gladiator during gym class.......really fun!
i think i injured just now........its ok la........it'll heal itself.......hehe

vernchien made me bread today! seriously better but thanks to gabriel and arnold for spoiling our cheerful mood with their layman jokes.

diyana.....left her bottle somewhere...again.....
luckily i was there and brought it back home.....
say, diyana, you gotta remember to bring your bottle along with yo cuz after we graduate, i might not be there to look after you..........

cant believe this is the worst blog i've ever posted......