Monday, May 11

kumo?

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When was the last time you lied down, either on a hammock, a cranky-wanky recliner, or just that cool green carpet of grass, looking up to the sky and gazed at them? 


It fascinates me, to watch them floating their way while letting the wind changes their shapes, such transformation that provokes man's thoughts and imagination and/or creativity, that inspires them to compose songs that might bring him fame and fortune; or sketches that might end up as masterpiece of art; or even poems that might touch thousands or millions of hearts and souls...
flying-birds
Occasionally, comes a birdie, or a kite, or even that silver plane, emerges from nowhere and diverge our attention,somehow such interruption reflects our current thoughts (and mood); some might even remind us the dreams we bear in our heart, for we're the ones to decide they're possible achievable, or just remained undiscovered, barred from ordeals we face in life....




As ur thoughts wander like the floating clouds in the sky, we'll end up dozing off by the afternoon heat, embraced in slumber to rest our tired minds, or get up from day-dreaming (or the insect bites),  move on to continue our work, instead of drowning ourselves in that so-called fantasies that might brought us nothing...time to get back to reality and kick some  @$$.....

At least, i think, that little moment of procrastination's quite harmless, infact it might restore our mind and soul back to equilibrium, to the proper state of sanity and sober, for we have tormented our souls with unwanted/forced commitments  and obligations...
At least it doesnt feel that tensed, at least we gained back some strength to keep going on, at least the feeling of knowing that we're still alive, and the desire to survive, still burns inside us.....

Sunday, May 10


went out with roy on friday to low yat.....damn the weather...scorching hot...he surprised me with a kakashi figurine as my bday present...my lovely handsome charming sexy dashing hot brooding kakashi.....Roy wanted to look for a new MP3 player (his old one has only 512MB...)

so we ventured the whole low yat...and boy he didnt do his homework by getting the product info online...so we spent most of the time comparing between Creative, Samsung and Philips...in means of battery life, price, design, warranty....thankfully i was there...if not he'd made a BAD choice ( he wanted to buy a Creative T200 which battery 
life only last for 9hrs)...luckily we left with a Philips...*forgot which model*



o-my-gosh i actually witdrawed $$$ to buy that 1TB external hard disk...
and now i just hav to find a way to get to my cousin....
imagine all the anime i can get frm him.... ^^
oh yea...also bought a mouse USB port 

been really torn nowadays...as in between procastination and motivation.....cant find a really good time to practice my piano.....
most of the time my family'll just turn on the tv ( how rude...) while i'm practising ( and the tv is just too near to my piano...)
thought of moving my piano up to my room...bu
t i'll need mr.hulk/mr. impossible to do work...*too heavy* 
if this goes on...i think my techniques n skills will be flawed to devastation....T~T

dissected a rat on thurs....it turned out to be easier than i thought....
pn.felicia suffocated them with CO2...instead of chloroform/ether....
gosh the rat was so nice to hold in the hand....cute summore....but that didnt affect me in cutting her ( i for a female rat) open...
and i got too preoccupied to slice the connective tissue to skin the rat off....which i'm supposed to remove the respiratory organs...so i end up finishing my practical bit later than others.....
hopefully ZH'll email me the photos he promised....URGH....

urm...bout my birthday...boring as ever cuz mom was lazy to cook again...so we had pizza for dinner....
but at least this year..myclassmates (especially Joey n Sueping) made me a bday card...wow.....really nice of them....
as usual i'll make my oreo cheesecake and pasta....kinda like celebrate it myself....sis are not here anyway....
thankgoodness my classmates luv the cheesecake i brought....
just rearranged the books in my bookbox....oh no its full...gotta buy another one....
went to the MPH warehouse sales with andrew..spent more than rm100 on books.....and we got free goodies....a FHM shotglasses..and a sunglasses frm Style mag....

Dad's coming back on the 19th....my plan to MPO has to be called off....but....i wanted to go....cuz its the only night with tango music performances.....my Astor Piazzolla.....why cant i get the change to hear it LIVE....T~T

Friday, April 10

fizzy buzzy whizzy whuzzy

to joey :
thanks for your suggestion....i'll try to get some time to change my layout (yes i noe its boring...)


still figuring a way to balance my sanity, without casting away my creative flow.....which seems to ooze to maximum when i'm tryin to get my sleep....

at the end of the day, i just end up with deafening voices and frequency inside my head, heartful of pain, headful of stress, handful of anger held in my chest, uphill of struggle, blood, sweat and tears, nothing to gain, everything to fear...



not to say that i'm being hyprocrite or snobbish flaunt...i hate my work piece, especially in writing...i'll always tend to scrutinize my work, like how aweful it is written, how lame my points are, or how pathetic my layout/pattern turn out to be...

of course i'll be delighted to receive high credits for my works, i mean, who doesnt like to taste some sweet achievement anyway? but then it'll only last for seconds, as disgust, humility and anger branched through every atom of me....giving me nothing but hatred over myself...that i could have done better...like what happend when i got into top5 in state level with my 5000 words piece...still, i refused to tell ppl what i wrote, just because i felt it was a product of my stupidity, rottening innocence...to the point that i forbid my parents from feelin proud of my "achievement"...and yes...if u ask me the same question today, the answer's the same : JUST SOME F**KINGLY MORONIC STORY WHICH IS NOT EVEN WORTH TO READ...

i'm becoming hostage of my alter ego, there's no exit to escape, FIGHT....is the only way to prevent the evil in me prevails..... XD

56...ohno...gained.....(yes mr.Hatschen you can hop and rejoice that ur wish came true...)
gotta revert back to 53 or less....or else...its a goodbye to my new bought jeans.... T~T


damn, cant resist his husky voice, melts the innermost of me...i swear i'll pass out if i see him serenade this L.I.V.E.....





*this is the studio version*

dare you to say that you dont feel that snuggly warmth inside your heart,



Sunday, March 29

on the verge of breakdown

Life is just like a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you're getting....

if only life is as yummy as chocolates...hahaha

tried hard to stay focus...to make the best outta something unexpected...
can i endorse my passion and obligation...without breaking apart emotionally....
Could i really make a good comeback after the failure last year...Is the offer still open?
As seniors rejoice with triumph, doubts and fears have spread and gripped tightly to our conscious mind, will the same thing happen to us or we'll just end up in a mess

think i'm gettin along well...(am i?)

the rest of our lives has a long way to go but it is been shaped right now.
you can blame your circumstances and fate, either bad luck or bad choices....
sometimes to move on forward, you have go back to your past....



Monday, February 9

tired

dunno what to say

Thursday, January 1

first blog of 2009

looking back to that 366 days i spent, realized nothing but paradoxical feeling of empty and full....
there are parts of my life filled with emptiness from seperation, sorrow from turmoils and despair, but there are some immensed with adventures and discoveries....

2008, chapter18 of my life, has definitely became the turning point of my life, for i have tasted seperation from friends and family as to embrace something brand new, apart from the norms...breaking my ground to adapt to a different people of different culture and lifestyles...which somehow winds back to my past....the part of my life that i'll rather keep it buried in the deepest abyss than reveal it to anyone in this world...perhaps its a chance for me to master that fear i bear for my childhood, perhaps its a prelude to the upcoming life that awaits me....


Being 18 is a wonderful thing... not all in a positive manner though..hahaha...
At least i did something in my to-do list...haha
for instance...
took part time jobs...
got my driving licence...
became temporarily domestic...hahaha
managed to shave some weight...
reconnected with some old friends...
almost got into a relationship ( i guess..haha...not really sure bout this though...LOL)
done crazy stuff with my best friends...


made new friends...and i'm glad that they're so nice and sincere...though we didnt get to meet often...really fascinating fact of true friendship...
kinda screwed up my life and striving the turmoils...at least i'll become a better survivor...hopefully with promising change...
at least from this fluctuating life in 2008, i realized what matters to me the most, learn how to appreciate and cherish those i love, tasted the bittersweet lies and deception..


2009...chapter 19 of my life...wonder what would i write next..

Friday, November 28

National Park Trip 2008 : Day 4

Breakfast was awesome
treasure hunt couldnt be conducted
everyone was busy packing
grabbed our last chance
taking as much photos as we could
exchange emails
the road back to PJ was really really jammed
Chris, Jens, Rex entertained us with jokes...
Qixiong, ZH were kinda unwell..motion sickness i guess
reached school at 7pm...
thanks to Rex n his bro for giving a lift home....

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