








went out with roy on friday to low yat.....damn the weather...scorching hot...he surprised me with a kakashi figurine as my bday present...my lovely handsome charming sexy dashing hot brooding kakashi.....Roy wanted to look for a new MP3 player (his old one has only 512MB...)





to joey :
thanks for your suggestion....i'll try to get some time to change my layout (yes i noe its boring...)
still figuring a way to balance my sanity, without casting away my creative flow.....which seems to ooze to maximum when i'm tryin to get my sleep....
at the end of the day, i just end up with deafening voices and frequency inside my head, heartful of pain, headful of stress, handful of anger held in my chest, uphill of struggle, blood, sweat and tears, nothing to gain, everything to fear...
not to say that i'm being hyprocrite or snobbish flaunt...i hate my work piece, especially in writing...i'll always tend to scrutinize my work, like how aweful it is written, how lame my points are, or how pathetic my layout/pattern turn out to be...
of course i'll be delighted to receive high credits for my works, i mean, who doesnt like to taste some sweet achievement anyway? but then it'll only last for seconds, as disgust, humility and anger branched through every atom of me....giving me nothing but hatred over myself...that i could have done better...like what happend when i got into top5 in state level with my 5000 words piece...still, i refused to tell ppl what i wrote, just because i felt it was a product of my stupidity, rottening innocence...to the point that i forbid my parents from feelin proud of my "achievement"...and yes...if u ask me the same question today, the answer's the same : JUST SOME F**KINGLY MORONIC STORY WHICH IS NOT EVEN WORTH TO READ...
i'm becoming hostage of my alter ego, there's no exit to escape, FIGHT....is the only way to prevent the evil in me prevails..... XD
56...ohno...gained.....(yes mr.Hatschen you can hop and rejoice that ur wish came true...)
gotta revert back to 53 or less....or else...its a goodbye to my new bought jeans.... T~T
damn, cant resist his husky voice, melts the innermost of me...i swear i'll pass out if i see him serenade this L.I.V.E.....
Life is just like a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you're getting....
looking back to that 366 days i spent, realized nothing but paradoxical feeling of empty and full....
there are parts of my life filled with emptiness from seperation, sorrow from turmoils and despair, but there are some immensed with adventures and discoveries....
2008, chapter18 of my life, has definitely became the turning point of my life, for i have tasted seperation from friends and family as to embrace something brand new, apart from the norms...breaking my ground to adapt to a different people of different culture and lifestyles...which somehow winds back to my past....the part of my life that i'll rather keep it buried in the deepest abyss than reveal it to anyone in this world...perhaps its a chance for me to master that fear i bear for my childhood, perhaps its a prelude to the upcoming life that awaits me....
Being 18 is a wonderful thing... not all in a positive manner though..hahaha...
At least i did something in my to-do list...haha
for instance...
took part time jobs...
got my driving licence...
became temporarily domestic...hahaha
managed to shave some weight...
reconnected with some old friends...
almost got into a relationship ( i guess..haha...not really sure bout this though...LOL)
done crazy stuff with my best friends...
made new friends...and i'm glad that they're so nice and sincere...though we didnt get to meet often...really fascinating fact of true friendship...
kinda screwed up my life and striving the turmoils...at least i'll become a better survivor...hopefully with promising change...
at least from this fluctuating life in 2008, i realized what matters to me the most, learn how to appreciate and cherish those i love, tasted the bittersweet lies and deception..
2009...chapter 19 of my life...wonder what would i write next..